Baghdad's power grid too spotty to use electric chair.

Members free to wear t-shirt sheets.

Rumsfeld, Cheney frantically search for receipt.

Experts urge ethanol use—fuel is cheaper and diverts some corn from Frito production.

Raises questions about treatment of women and hygienic handling of food.

Explains: "It's just some hair gel from the cameraman I beat up before the game."

Iraq's #1 energy source is now old timetables, draft constitutions, "Blueprints for Progress."

Bush Strategy:  Hope Hungry Scientists Accidentally Use Up All Fissile Material on Tests

Horrified children would rather remain in foster system.