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I'm a proofreader and comedy writer, but what I really want to do is nothing.

Check out the "Dear Star Savior" podcast and blog to witness some celebrity life-coaching.

Subscribe to "Dear Star Savior" on iTunes.

Go become my friend on MySpace. Then, go hunt me down on Facebook. Be my friend here, too. Think of it as a two-person three-way.

Stalk me on Twitter.

Check out my blog to see where my head is. It will sculpt your abs.

Send me e-mail at marcushoward1@hotmail.com. Stalkers and identity thieves, consider this your birthday present.

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tony (Guest) says:

funny stuff marcus !

Tom Shillue says:

good stuff Marcus- keep it up! T

Marcus Howard says:

Thanks, bro. I'm just making my way into topical stuff, so it's good to see I haven't totally bombed.

Ray Ellin says:

congrats on having the LOL! great stuff-

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133 Jokes  

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Lab releases do-it-yourself paternity test By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 25, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Parents 1208 Jokes  31 Videos

Sorenson Genomics has released a kit that allows people to conduct paternity tests at home by swabbing the cheeks of the child and the presumed father. The paternity test works best on men who don't screen their calls. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Daytime sleeping raises stroke risk in elderly By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 22, 2008 Category: News

According to new studies, older people who sleep during the day face a higher risk of having a stroke. Researchers also said having a stroke eliminates the risk of sleeping. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Con artists use fake $100 to rip off Girl Scouts By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 21, 2008 Category: News

From Hot Topic Colorado 85 Jokes  1 Videos

A pair of con artists in Colorado reportedly ripped off a Girl Scout group by using fake money to buy $100 worth of cookies. Police said the con artists have been sentenced to diabetes. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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USDA recalls 143 million pounds of beef By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 19, 2008 Category: News

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has recalled 143 million pounds of beef products that were made from sick cows and date back to Feb. 1, 2006. As proof of purchase, people should send an obituary. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Woman dies after falling from U.N. building By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 18, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Cop 1357 Jokes  15 Videos

A woman who worked at the United Nations’ Secretariat Building died Sunday after falling or jumping from the 19th floor. The official cause of death is under investigation, but police suspect gravity. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Internet sex auction leads to paternity battle By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 14, 2008 Category: News

From Hot Topic Parents 1208 Jokes  31 Videos

A Web site has been ordered to reveal the real names of the winners of an online sex auction, so the woman who held the auction can find out which man is her baby’s father. Regardless of who the father is, the baby's upbringing will involve syphilis. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Oprah Store opens in Chicago By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 11, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Chicago 205 Jokes

The Oprah Store has opened in Chicago, selling items featuring Oprah’s sayings, passions and favorite gurus, as well as Oprah-branded clothes, accessories and household products. The items can be customized to fit any empty life. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Dear Star Savior: Amy Winehouse's crack video By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 8, 2008 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic Amy Winehouse 72 Jokes

Dear Star Savior, Hi. I’m Amy Winehouse. Police have questioned me about a video that supposedly shows me smoking crack cocaine during a party at my house. They haven’t filed charges, but they’re still investigating. What should I do? Dear Amy, Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick fix for your current situation. However, you should use this time to find a good crackhouse instead of smoking crack at home. The main benefit of a crackhouse is the lack of video cameras: Crackhouse types usually aren’t photogenic, and it’s hard to keep a camera still while tweaking. It doesn’t make for good viewing. As a bonus, you’d be smoking crack with London’s crack greats, addicts who went pro before your first pipe was just a twinkle in your dilated pupils. Think of it as a crack fantasy camp. Make sure to get autographs! The Star Savior Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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HIV can be passed to babies in pre-chewed food By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 7, 2008 Category: News

From Hot Topic Parents 1208 Jokes  31 Videos

Scientists reported that the AIDS virus can be passed from an infected mother to her baby if she pre-chews the baby’s food, as sometimes is done in developing countries. The scientists said babies in developing countries were more likely to get AIDS as a result of time. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Major diabetes study cut off after deaths By: Marcus Howard (C) Submitted: Feb 6, 2008 Category: News

The National Institutes of Health abruptly ended a diabetes study after 257 patients died after receiving intense therapy to reduce their blood sugar. Researchers said those patients’ therapy technically was a total success. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it: