The Kansas City Chiefs will cut Larry Johnson's gay-slur suspension in half. But he can't giggle when the stadium announcer introduces Mike Cox and Lance Long.
 

The Oakland Raiders plan to look closely into allegations Tom Cable has a history of violence. But not too closely, or Cable might hit them.
 

Allen Iverson is already complaining about his role on the bench. Mainly because he has to watch the Grizzlies.
 

Manu Ginobili was given a rabies shot after catching a bat on Halloween. Kobe Bryant was given a rabies shot after shaking hands with Ron Artest.

Derek Jeter and Albert Pujols each won the Hank Aaron Award for the best offensive player. Milton Bradley won the award for the most offensive player.
 

Rudy Gay said the odds of him signing a contract extension are at 50-50. Those are the same odds that googling his name will bring you to a gay porn site.

Nate Robinson could be sidelined for two weeks after spraining his right ankle. Luckily, the Knicks will still be able to lose without him. Robinson should be able to heal from the bench, since he'll rarely have to standup and cheer.
 

The NCAA is considering a proposal to make the college basketball season shorter. No word yet on whether that will effect the players' salaries.

Redskins tight end Chris Cooley had three screws placed inside his tibia. Of course, everyone who watches the Redskins gets screwed.

Raiders coach Tom Cable was accused of abusing two women. Of course, the Raiders have been abusing their fans for years.