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Ernie Mccracken
Ernie Mccracken
"Warning: Not actual comedian. Side effects may include nausea, dry-mouth and cricket noises in background."



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53 Jokes  

Ernie Mccracken
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Romney is out! These Thongs Must Go!

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Feb 7, 2008
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Mitt Romney

35 Jokes  1 Videos

Romney is out! These Thongs Must Go!Ok, so I may have over bought.

But if you’re looking for some medium-quality ladies' undergarments that happen to have the former Governor of Massachusetts’s likeness on them,
look no further.

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What Do...

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Jan 9, 2008
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

New Hampshire

37 Jokes

Getting a Speeding Ticket
and
Losing the New Hampshire Primary

have in common?

You can get out of both by crying.

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Bin Laden is Back

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Sep 7, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Osama Bin Laden

152 Jokes  7 Videos

Bin Laden is BackAnd ready to get back into the game!

Just For Men:
Why not have 72 virgins in THIS life?

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Consumer Protection

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Aug 22, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Wrestling

70 Jokes  2 Videos

Consumer ProtectionJapanese arm-wrestling arcade game “Udedamashii” (Arms Spirit) is being recalled after it broke three players’ arms.

But the Italian-made game “Accidents Happen” that breaks your arm if you stop inserting protection tokens, will remain on the market.

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Durham Bull

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Aug 21, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

North Carolina

88 Jokes  2 Videos

Durham BullThe other day I drove through Durham, NC and saw a billboard that said,

“Durham; Where good things happen.”

The Chamber of Commerce may want to rethink that one.

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What People?

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Aug 13, 2007
Category: Entertainment  

What People?'People' magazine is a misleading title.

A more accurate name would be
'People That Have No Bearing on Your Life',

or 'Rhinoplasty Weekly',
or 'Eating Disorders Digest',
or 'Look Ma! No Consequences'.

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I have a Question About Evolution...

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Aug 10, 2007
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

I have a Question About Evolution...When did it become not ok to have sex with monkeys?

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Insulation Loves Company

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Jul 26, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Weight Loss

240 Jokes  3 Videos

Insulation Loves CompanyA new study shows Obesity to be 'socially contagious.'

“This is a huge blow to the Fat Camp industry.”
said the Director of Camp Anawanaseconds

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Homebuilders Hire Homeless

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Jul 25, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Washington

373 Jokes  7 Videos

Homebuilders Hire HomelessThe Carpenters Union paid homeless individuals $8/hour to protest for them against low wages in Washington D.C. this week.

I for one applaud this effort.
In the past, I would walk past a group of homeless people, they would say things at me like, “can you spare some change?” or “the fanny packs attack at midnight”…
…and I would give them a dollar.

Now I walk past the same group, and they yell things like
“Higher wages for carpenters!”
…and a Union Boss gives them a dollar…
…and my dollar goes to Candy, who’s stripping her way through college on a stage that was built by carpenters.

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What's Eating Dennis Kucinich?

By: Ernie Mccracken (C)
Submitted: Jul 19, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Republican

1214 Jokes  29 Videos

What's Eating Dennis Kucinich?Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, who is a vegan, has been hospitalized with "severe" effects of apparent food poisoning.

In other news, Republican meat-lover Fred Thompson has eaten Dennis Kucinich.

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