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Greg Contreras
Greg Contreras
"Does this profile make me look fat?"

New York, NY

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Biography
Greg Banks is loved by old, white, tea-baggers everywhere.

e-mail him at banks.greg@gmail.com.

Octavia Smith says:

I don't know why bush hates puppies, because hes fucking one every night.His wife or should i say a Chihuahua.
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Joke List: Most Recent (From All Time)

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53 Jokes  

Greg Contreras
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Teacher Pissed As Boy Puts Urine in Coffee

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 22, 2007
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

School

933 Jokes  35 Videos

Teacher Pissed As Boy Puts Urine in CoffeeAn eighth-grader faces expulsion after admitting he put urine in a teacher's coffee pot, officials said.

The boy says he was inspired by a presentation on water sports in Sex Ed; he thought the teacher was "into it."

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8O03SP02&show_article=1&catnum=9

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Greg Contreras
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DC Schools Lead the Nation...

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 20, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

School

933 Jokes  35 Videos

....in producing illiterate graduates.

Despite spending more than twice the national average per pupil, Washington DC's illiteracy rate is 33% versus 21% for the nation.

$11,269 per student really isn't much, says an administrator, it barely pays for the Ninth Graders' bitches.

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Greg Contreras
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Hillary in Parallel (Universe) to JFK

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 12, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Hillary Clinton

252 Jokes  11 Videos

Hillary in Parallel (Universe) to JFKIn an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.

Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.

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Greg Contreras
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Out, Out Damn Yankee

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 12, 2007
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

George Bush

653 Jokes  17 Videos

Out, Out Damn YankeePractitioners of the Mayan religion in Guatemala were upset with President Bush's visit to a Mayan holy site and promised to hold a purification ritual to cleanse the site of bad spirits because of the President's persecution of immigrants and bloodthirsty, war-like tendencies.

Spokesmen said the ritualistic cleansing would include a bloodletting, vivisection and the ever popular live beating heart removal from Moe, Larry, Curly and two friends pictured below.

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Greg Contreras
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Indonesia Uses Giant Cement Balls to Seal Fissure

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 24, 2007
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Gay and Lesbian

503 Jokes  23 Videos

Indonesia Uses Giant Cement Balls to Seal FissureIndonesian authorities will drop hundreds of giant concrete balls to stop an eruption of hot, noxious mud from an underground fissure.

Gay engineers have been flown in from around the world for technical assistance.

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Greg Contreras
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Comatose Sea Turtles

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 24, 2007
Category: Weird  

Comatose Sea Turtles90 sea turtles, left comatose by a cold snap, were rescued by Sea Turtles Inc. (a sea turtle rescue group).

Tragically, the Sea Turtles Inc. staff later bored them all to death.

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Greg Contreras
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Septuagenarian Kills Assailant, 20

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 23, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

FBI

64 Jokes  1 Videos

Septuagenarian Kills Assailant, 20A 70-year old former U.S. soldier killed a mugger while vacationing in Costa Rica.

In a related story, the FBI made former Marine, John Murtha crap in his pants.

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Greg Contreras
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Nancy Pelosi Complained to the President...

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 22, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Nancy Pelosi

46 Jokes

Nancy Pelosi Complained to the President......about the Vice President.

The President reassured her that opposing the troop surge did not make her look weak on defense, but John Murtha made her look fat.

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Greg Contreras
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Large Corporations Treat Us Like Idiots

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 22, 2007
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Starbucks

62 Jokes

Large Corporations Treat Us Like IdiotsStarbucks has a 10-step evacuation procedure. What step is get the f*@k out?

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Greg Contreras
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From the Birthplace of Absurdist Comedy

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Feb 21, 2007
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Iran

176 Jokes

From the Birthplace of Absurdist ComedyItalian doctors mistakenly transplanted organs from an HIV-positive donor into three recipients. Pirandello would be proud.

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