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Greg Contreras
Greg Contreras
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Biography
Greg Banks is loved by old, white, tea-baggers everywhere.

e-mail him at banks.greg@gmail.com.

Octavia Smith says:

I don't know why bush hates puppies, because hes fucking one every night.His wife or should i say a Chihuahua.
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53 Jokes  

Greg Contreras
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Nancy Pelosi Prays for President Bush

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 29, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Nancy Pelosi

46 Jokes

Nancy Pelosi Prays for President BushOn Friday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) said she was praying that President Bush would have a change of heart and vote for the current S-CHIP legislation.

Ms. Pelosi prays frequently and was seen recently at San Francisco's Folsom Street S&M Fair praying to "Leather Sister," a popular local deity.

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Grey Parrot Dies

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 11, 2007
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Animal

1056 Jokes  34 Videos

Grey Parrot DiesWALTHAM, Mass. (AP) - A gifted parrot that could count to six, identify colors and even express frustration with scientific trials was found dead in it's cage yesterday.

Irene Pepperberg, the scientist that found Alex in 1973 said, "It's devastating to lose an individual you've worked with pretty much every day for 30 years."

Pepperberg said Alex hadn't reached his full cognitive potential. Just last month he pronounced the word "seven" for the first time.

"Seven was too much for him," she said wistfully.

Colleagues have been helping Pepperberg grieve and to understand that a parrot isn't an "individual," it's a bird.

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Greg Contreras
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Osama: Come to Waziristan!

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 8, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Osama Bin Laden

152 Jokes  7 Videos

Osama: Come to Waziristan!Osama bin Laden praised Islam because they have no taxes (except a small infidel fee of 2.5%) and super low interest home loans!

It's all part of the new "Come to Waziristan" promotional campaign featuring former CHP's star, Eric Estrada.

The ad copy reads:

"It's the closest thing to heaven you can get: fresh mountain air, free housing and plenty of sheep."

Plus, if you convert now, we won't have to kill you!"

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Airforce Helps in Katrina Recovery

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 6, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Cop

1357 Jokes  15 Videos

Airforce Helps in Katrina RecoveryA B-52 bomber was "mistakenly" loaded with five nuclear warheads and flown to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana.

The "missing" nukes resulted in an Air Force-wide investigation, according to several officers who asked not to be identified because they were not authorized to discuss the incident.

They added: "we think they represent Bush's 'final solution' for Katrina reconstruction, but we can't be certain."

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Senator to Resign at Historic “Boise Depot”

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Sep 1, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Larry Craig

36 Jokes  2 Videos

Senator to Resign at Historic “Boise Depot”The Depot grounds include the lovely Platt Gardens, featuring graceful pathways, a gazebo and koi pond, and a panoramic view of the Boise Front (a large undeveloped area just north of town).

“it’s a magical place really," the Senator said, "perfect for a day out with the family or for the kind of multiple, anonymous homosexual encounters of which I am so fond.”

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Senator Larry Craig to Resign

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Aug 31, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Larry Craig

36 Jokes  2 Videos

Senator Larry Craig to ResignIdaho Senator Larry Craig will announce his resignation this morning from the Boise Depot, the city's historic, iconic (and phallic!) train depot.

The 10:30am press conference will be held in the men's rest room, or did you guess?

Which begs the question, Senator, have you no sense of irony, at long last?

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Iraq WMDs Found

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Aug 30, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Iraq

411 Jokes  3 Videos

United Nations officials found vials of a chemical warfare agent, phosgene, taken from Iraq. The chemicals were found as the U.N. Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission (UNMOVIC) were clearing out their offices, in Manhattan near U.N. headquarters. Mission accomplished!

"So that's where they went," an official said.

The FBI said the public was never in danger, since no one had emptied the trash that morning.

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Victory: The Doomsday Scenario

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Aug 25, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Iraq

411 Jokes  3 Videos

Victory: The Doomsday ScenarioReacting to news that the "surge" (of baby killing U.S. imperialists) was having a positive impact on Iraq stability, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-CA said: "damn, just when defeat was within our grasp."

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Takes Us to Gitmo

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 31, 2007
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Guantanamo Bay

51 Jokes

Takes Us to Gitmo(AFP) Seven Russian terrorism suspects suffered torture and other abuses in Russia, after they we’re released by US authorities from Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. This according to Human Rights Watch.

"We want to go back to Gitmo," they said through an interpreter, "the food was better and we got a lot of sun."

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Sewage Disappears into a Sinkhole

By: Greg Contreras (C)
Submitted: Mar 28, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Election

525 Jokes  20 Videos

Sewage Disappears into a SinkholeSAND LAKE, Mich. (AP) - About 15 million gallons of partially treated sewage water disappeared from a 250,000 square-foot storage lagoon into a sinkhole in Kent County...

Coincidently, the effluent surfaced in Cook County ballot boxes where votes had frequently disappeared.

Now we know where they go, said an official.

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