President Bush told CNBC's Maria Bartiromo yesterday that he's "astounded" by some of the astronomical pay packages collected by corporate CEOs.

"I'm also quite stunned by the huge amounts of taxes that, thanks to me, they don't pay."

John Spencer, Hillary Clinton's Republican challenger, says the senator used to be ugly and speculates she got "millions of dollars" in plastic surgery since her younger days.

"She looks good now," he said.

One of Clinton's aides immediately shot back at Spencer's comments. "[These rumors] are ridiculous and insulting. Let me say for the record: Hillary Clinton does not look that good."

Source: NY Daily News

Recently, an 81-year-old Florida man was stung in the heart by a stingray that leapt onto his boat. The attack was eerily reminiscent of the death of the Crocodile Hunter.

"The whole Steve Irwin thing was a public relations coup for our species," said a spokes-ray. "We're just taking advantage of the sudden buzz."

According to a new study, anti-inflammatory compounds in marijuana may help protect older brains against the symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.

In a related story, Willie Nelson still remembers his address and the words to many of his songs.

Source: New York Daily News

Rumor has it that former Spice Girl Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown is pregnant by Eddie Murphy.

Which will make this the world's first baby to be born a has-been.

The American Public was overheard in a nail salon yesterday complaining about its Congress to a friend. Apparently, the Public was “totally fed up” with all of it.

“I’m soooo over this Congress,” said the Public. “Usually, after having the same Congress for a while, I can pick one or two Senators that I can tolerate being seen outside with. But this time I’m like “yecchh!”— the whole thing has got to go. I swear, sometimes I feel like pouring gasoline all over this Congress and tossing a match on it.”

“There’s nothing about this Congress I like anymore. I look at all these disasters and think ‘How the hell could I have voted for THAT?’ You'd think I'd have learned my lesson after my whole 1994 fiasco, but no! This is what I get for listening to all the so-called “experts.” They make you so afraid of being labeled “out of touch,”, “deluded” or “sympathizing with terrorists,” but sure enough, the whole thing becomes embarrassing in no time flat. Soon, the whole world has moved on, and there I am, stuck with a whole Congress full of losers, looking like a horse’s ass to boot.”

The Public then vowed to “clean house” in November, and get a whole new Congress. And all new shoes too.

A new movie called "300" is set to hit theaters in 2007. It's about an ancient war between 300 Spartan soldiers and the entire Persian army.

In an odd coincidence, 2007 will see CNN also premiering a war involving the entire Persian army.

Bindi Irwin, the 8-year-old daughter of the late Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, will star in her very own wildlife series to air on the Discovery Kids network.

The working title: "Bindi, We Hardly Knew Ye."

"Everybody's Grandmother - The Barbara Bush Story"

President Bush sent America's spies scrambling yesterday to tell him whether North Korea detonated a nuclear bomb, as the regime claims.

“The President demands answers,” said a U.S. official familiar with the investigation. “We plan to proceed as soon as he decides exactly what it is he wants to have happened.”

Source: NY Daily News