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Anthony DeVito
Anthony DeVito
""No, I don't want to hear a joke.""

Brooklyn, NY

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Biography
Anthony DeVito is a native of Brooklyn and performs comedy in an around NYC. He's been seen on VH1, A&E, Discovery Channel and Late Night With Conan O'Brien. He's also written for Jest magazine and enjoyed 3 years on the job as one of Us Weekly's Fashion Police. His website is www.anthonydevito.com and he loves you very much.
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141 Jokes  

Anthony DeVito
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Talibanland!

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 11, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Pakistan

49 Jokes

According to an Associated Press article, a peace deal between Pakistan and Islamic militants has created, in essence, a Taliban "mini-state."

The article went on to say "which is a lot less cute than it sounds."

 


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Doll Parts

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 8, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Britney Spears

191 Jokes  8 Videos

Ex-Hole Courtney Love has spoken out on Britney Spears' parenting skills by noting, "Say what you will about me, and I’m not passing judgment, but when I had my daughter, I stayed home with her almost every night for the first year of her life."

Love added, "Okay, I couldn't go out because I was usually lying on the bathroom floor with a syringe in my arm, but at least I was in my own house."

 


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Bush Says New Approach Needed In Iraq

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 7, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Iraq

411 Jokes  3 Videos

Admitting "It's bad in Iraq," The President and Tony Blair spoke at a news conference in Washington.

Bush continued: "I'm at a loss here. I don't know what else to do. I mean, I lied my ASS off for months and months. Nobody lied harder than me, and that includes Dick and Rummy. I lied right to your faces, and admit it, you wanted to believe me. I could see it in your eyes. Wow, eyes rhymes with lies... I never realized that before! That's funny. Can I go now?"

 


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Three Skanketeers

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 4, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!










One more Horseman, and we've got ourselves an Apocalypse.

 


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No Room At The Multiplex

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 4, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Santa Claus

32 Jokes  2 Videos

Inspired by the runaway box-office success of "The Passion Of The Christ," expectations had been high for "The Nativity Story," which made a disappointing $8 million this weekend.

When Christian moviegoers were asked why they weren't interested in this film, reponses ranged from "not enough Santa Claus" to "the Jews got off way too easy."

 


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DeVito Continues To Make Headlines

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Dec 1, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!

If I close my eyes and try really hard, I can pretend all this national media attention is about me.

 


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Awwww!

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Nov 22, 2006
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

George Bush

653 Jokes  17 Videos

Continuing an adorable tradition that has in no way been tainted with tragic irony, President Bush "pardoned" the National Thanksgiving Turkey, thus sparing its life.

Thousands of servicemen and women in Iraq and Afghanistan have been frantically donning feathers and wattles, hoping for similar treatment.


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Stuff This!

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Nov 20, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Paris Hilton

250 Jokes  10 Videos

Thanksgiving is approaching, and basic cable is choked with cooking shows offering different takes on preparing a holiday feast.

Too many of these shows have mentioned that most upsetting of culinary abominations: THE TURDUCKEN. As you know, this monstrosity, this offense to nature, is a turkey stuffed with a duck, which itself is stuffed with a chicken. Come on, that's gross. It's like something out of a Hellraiser movie. Obscene and just plain wrong.

What if there were some faraway planet, where intelligent poultry ruled and humans were raised in cages as food? What might they eat to celebrate their national Sun-cycle of GratitudeTime? I offer this partial list:

MAWOMBY: A man, stuffed with a woman, stuffed with a baby.

KELPARCHIE: Kelly Osbourne, stuffed with Paris Hilton, stuffed with Nicole Richie.

KARDIZZA: Karl Rove, stuffed with Dick Cheney, stuffed with Condolezza Rice.

ARKRAVINCE: Aretha Franklin, stuffed with Lenny Kravitz, stuffed with Prince.

CAMMERUNT: Camryn Manheim, stuffed with Meryl Streep, stuffed with Linda Hunt.

CROSTILLASH: Crosby, stuffed with Stills, stuffed with Nash.

 


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THAT DRE$$

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Nov 20, 2006
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Scientology

26 Jokes  1 Videos

According to the NY Daily News, Katie Holmes' Armani wedding gown cost $2.6 million.


In Scientology terms, the dress has achieved the state of Operating Thetan VIII.


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What Xenu hath joined together, let no psychologist put asunder.

By: Anthony DeVito (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Marriage

1323 Jokes  27 Videos

"I now pronounce you Freak and Beard.
You may now kiss the bride in a way that makes us go, "ok, we get it'."

 


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