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Anthony DeVito
""No, I don't want to hear a joke.""
Brooklyn, NY
      
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Anthony DeVito is a native of Brooklyn and performs comedy in an around NYC. He's been seen on VH1, A&E, Discovery Channel and Late Night With Conan O'Brien. He's also written for Jest magazine and enjoyed 3 years on the job as one of Us Weekly's Fashion Police. His website is www.anthonydevito.com and he loves you very much.
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Thanksgiving is approaching, and basic cable is choked with cooking shows offering different takes on preparing a holiday feast.
Too many of these shows have mentioned that most upsetting of culinary abominations: THE TURDUCKEN. As you know, this monstrosity, this offense to nature, is a turkey stuffed with a duck, which itself is stuffed with a chicken. Come on, that's gross. It's like something out of a Hellraiser movie. Obscene and just plain wrong.
What if there were some faraway planet, where intelligent poultry ruled and humans were raised in cages as food? What might they eat to celebrate their national Sun-cycle of GratitudeTime? I offer this partial list:
MAWOMBY: A man, stuffed with a woman, stuffed with a baby.
KELPARCHIE: Kelly Osbourne, stuffed with Paris Hilton, stuffed with Nicole Richie.
KARDIZZA: Karl Rove, stuffed with Dick Cheney, stuffed with Condolezza Rice.
ARKRAVINCE: Aretha Franklin, stuffed with Lenny Kravitz, stuffed with Prince.
CAMMERUNT: Camryn Manheim, stuffed with Meryl Streep, stuffed with Linda Hunt.
CROSTILLASH: Crosby, stuffed with Stills, stuffed with Nash.
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According to the NY Daily News, Katie Holmes' Armani wedding gown cost $2.6 million. 
