The NJ Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples have the same rights as heterosexuals in a 4-3 ruling yesterday.

The court ruled as follows: "The issue is not about the transformation of the the traditional definition of marriage, but about the unequal dispensation of benefits and privileges to one of two similarly situated classes of people."

Translated: "Think of it as our way of saying to the gay community, 'sorry the governor was such a skank.'''

Headline in This Morning's Metro: Woman Tricked Man To Get Hummer

Isn't that usually the other way around?

...the same way I look at "Sex & the City" on TBS. What's this still doing on my TV?

...So where are the wristbands for people who support oral sex?

Lindsay Lohan tells InStyle Magazine in an upcoming issue that she plans to be married by the time she's 30.

Interestingly enough, she also describes her current plan to leave behind a drug-bloated corpse by the time she's 25, as "still very much on pace."

Q: You know how to piss off a room full of bohemian feminists?

A: Go to a poetry reading, walk up to the mic and announce you'd like to read a new piece entitled, "Fuck Sylvia Plath."

Can Jon hear Garfield?

I think I'm tired of Jack Black. I'm not sure how or where that happened, but I think that's been a long time coming. In fact, I think he jumped the shark for me since "High Fidelity." It's kind of hard to pinpoint. I guess I just stuck around so as not to hurt his feelings.

So I'm in the bookstore the other day, and I happen upon a woman openly nursing her baby. Now, I've never actually seen this happen before, but I'll tell you it was interesting. For his part, the baby didn't even look hungry; the woman just whipped it out and slapped'im on.

I'll tell you, it was fascinating and mundane all at once watching this woman engage in a perfectly normal, natural, human bodily function...

And yet when I peed on her, guess who got all mad and called security?

Women. 

The company of drunks is a lot like dining on quiche. In order to enjoy it, one must be in the mood for it.