PITTSBURGH (AP) - A linguist from the University of Pittsburgh has published a scholarly paper deconstructing and deciphering the word "dude," contending it is much more than a catchall for lazy, inarticulate surfers, skaters, slackers and teenagers.

Scott Kiesling said the four-letter word has many uses: in greetings ("What's up, dude?"); as an exclamation ("Whoa, dude!"); commiseration ("Dude, I'm so sorry."); to one-up someone ("That's so lame, dude."); as well as agreement, surprise and disgust ("Dude.").

In the Fall edition of American Speech, Kiesling says the word derives its power from something he calls cool solidarity—an effortless kinship that's not too intimate.

Dude... way to avoid doing a real research paper for your grad thesis!

Information continues to come out about the British Jihadists. Abdul Waheed, 21, converted to radical Islam six months ago, after growing up as the son of a Conservative Party official.

Apparently no one told him there are easier ways to piss off your Dad.

Those professionals who practice the art of stand-up comedy are familiar with this site. Before going on stage we often find ourselves sharing the back room with a bucket like the one pictured here. It is commonly filled with cigarette butts, food, napkins and scum juice.

Why we are required to share our pre-show time with this ubiquitous bucket, one can only guess. Perhaps its purpose is to help us, "keep it in perspective," as in, when we are hearing the MC announce, "You may have seen this next act on 'The Tonight Show,' or many national TV shows..." we can just look to the left, and it will, "bring us back down to earth."

Yes, that is it.

I walk through Chelsea here in NYC almost every day and I pass by this billboard for Gay.com. It's a guy standing there in a t-shirt, and in big letters it says, "ARE YOU?"

Now, I'm all for marketing, but do gays need to put their resources in this neighborhood? I think that hill has been taken, fellas. Maybe try a banner ad on Maxim.com, and try to flip a few guys who are on the fence. You know—the ones who think that Angelina Jolie is, "The perfect woman."

And everywhere you go in Chelsea there are other, more subtle, recruiting techniques as well. Look at that sign for 6th Avenue—what does that look like it says to you? Look again... It's like it's asking a question... Am I the only one who sees this?

When asked if her decision came about of religious or personal transformation, she responded, "I don't know... It's just the way I am. I love to celibate. Like that song, 'Celibate- Good Times- Come On!' It's pretty much my philosophy. Who's Tony Blair?"

Cindy Sheehan returned to Crawford, Texas to continue her protest against President Bush with about 40 supporters.

The group marched and chanted, "This is what democracy looks like!"

Democracy then looked over it's shoulder into the mirror and said, "Do I really look like that?" before hopping on the treadmill.

It was revealed that Mel Gibson was heavily intoxicated during his arrest, and due to slurred speech was unjustly accused of Anti-Semitism. A revised transcript was provided:

OFFICER: We're driving you to the police station, Mr. Gibson. Sit back.

GIBSON: (rubbing his feet) These shoes! It's these F@#%ING SHOES! They are irresponsible! For all the warts in the world, these shoes are worse!

OFFICER: Please calm down, Mr. Gibson.

GIBSON: (clearly thirsty) Juice!

OFFICER: I'm sorry, sir?

GIBSON: Juice... You have some juice? YOU have juice, don't you!

OFFICER: Sit back, sir.

GIBSON: (yelling out window) Juice! JUICE! Anybody!? Jesus was killed by (lack of) Juice! Ouch! AAARGH! These shoes! Damn them to hell...MY SHOES!

11:51 p.m. In a bar in Orlando, alone, drinking a beer beneath a 40 ft. statue of a woman-bird-warrior.

Does life get any better?

Today Richard Simmons publicly declared, "It's a perm!"

Today in court: “I urge to kill the aggressive invaders." Mr. Hussein said, speaking about The U.S. "And I urge to expel them from here. So if the killing leads to their expulsion, I urge that,” he said.

When asked why he ended his recent hunger strike and devoured a plate of beef and rice, Hussein replied "I urge."