Apparently, eating stray cats is considered support

Minutes later the group were rushed to a hospital with symptoms such as diarrhea, vomiting, and fever. The patients were released soon afterward. Given a clean bill of health the group celebrated by enjoying some of the countries fine cuisine, canned Vienna Sausages. Minutes later the group were rushed to a hospital with symptoms such as diarrhea, vomiting, and fever. 

The concert, Joung Jeezy featuring Drake will be rescheduled. Young Jeezy was set to perform his hits such as, "Soul Survivor", featuring Akon, "And Then What" featuring Mannie Fresh, , and "I'm So Hood" featuring DJ Khaled, Ludacris, Busta Rhymes, Big Boi, Lil Wayne, Fat Joe, Birdman, & Rick Ross. The show was cancelled amid fear of the recent Swine Flu, featuring Subject Zero, Mexican Boi, and White House Aide

Mexico had also considered shutting down the border to contain the virus, but figured it would just jump the fence anyway.

The President explained to reporters that waterboarding can be called nothing less than torture. Reporters responded by saying that the President can be called nothing less than Captain.Obvious.

Many people are asking if the swine flu is airborne? CDC officials say “Yeah right, when pigs fly.”

Carl Edwards' battered car soared 15-feet off the ground, scraping along the safety fence, then bouncing back onto the track in flames.  The accident occured when the driver attempted to make a right turn.