Al Qaeda’s No. 2 leader, Ayman al-Zawahri has said in a taped message that the terrorist organization would not stand idly by while, “Israeli shells burn our brothers. All the world is a battlefield,” said the Egyptian born al-Zawahri—at which point a voice can be heard in the background correcting him with, “Actually, according to Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield."

Actress/comedian Mo'nique was recently kicked off of a United Airlines flight after getting into a spat with a flight attendant. Though the incident began when her hair stylist stashed a hair dryer in a first class bin, other passengers said it escalated when a flight attendant screamed "Phat Girlz" sucked, at whch point Mo’nique called her a skinny bitch!

Barbara Walters has approached acclaimed psychics Judi Hoffman, Char Margolis, Sylvia Browne and The Amazing Kreskin seeking assistance in finding a replacement co-host for the recently fired Star Jones Reynolds.

After carefully reading the stars and probing the future, they all concluded that the new co-host will definitely be of a darker hue.

Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and a half-dozen other superheroes will star on new postage stamps being released Thursday.

Though no Minority Heroes are included in this printing of the stamps, Zan and Jana, the Wonder Twins, may be included in the next generation of stamps to represent all illegal aliens.

NAACP chairman Julian Bond is urging President Bush to attend the Civil Rights group’s annual convention this week. Bush is the first sitting President to not speak to the group in decades.

Rumor has it Bush doesn’t want to attend because he’s, "Seen how those people react when someone bombs on 'Showtime At the Apollo'."

In a sit-down with Giant magazine, 24-year-old pop sensation Beyonce Knowles is finally ready to take the reigns over her career by firing her father-manager Matthew Knowles. The singer admits, “We had our issues. I’d say ‘No’ to something, and he’d book it anyway. Then I’d have to do it because I’d look bad if I didn’t.”

She also mentioned that daddy began to seek advice from other famous father-managers such as Christopher Culkin, Michael Lohan and ‘Papa’ Joe Jackson.

Parents of NYC Public School attendants filed a lawsuit against the city to overturn a ban on students carrying cellphones in school. Parents stated that the ban on cellphones needs to be lifted so that a vital communication link between parents and students, before and after school hours, can continue.

Arguing that it’s a safety issue, some parents complained that, “Without cellphones, our children would have no means to get help... or reinforcements if their crew is out-numbered.”

NY Post

BET founder Robert Johnson is teaming with The Weinstein Company to launch a film label that will produce pics aimed at African-American audiences. To better serve their target demographic Harvey Weinstein suggested that the films begin 35 minutes later than the listed movie showtimes.

Daily Variety, 7/14/06

(AP)—The World Cup helped boost television ratings for Univision Communications Inc., with some matchups drawing more than double the average number of household viewers than in previous tournaments for the Spanish-language broadcaster.

In an effort to return ratings to normal, Univision plans to run a 24-hour marathon of "Sabado Gigante."

"Free agent center 'Big' Ben Wallace is leaving the Detroit Pistons to sign with the Chicago Bulls," a person within the NBA said Monday. Ben is leaving because of his disappointment in the Pistons’ offer, the high crime rate in Detroit, and the lack of "good corn-rollists" in the motor city.