Not to be outdone by Brangelina, Maditchie (Madonna & hubby/director, Guy Ritchie) are planning to adopt a child in Malawi. Madge's reps have confirmed that she said, "I would like to adopt a one-year-old orphan, and, (sigh) okay, I guess he can be black."

At a pivotal time in the abortion debate, Ms. Magazine is releasing it’s fall issue next week with a story including the signed names of approximately 5000 women who’ve had abortions. Though the newsstand version only had room for 1,016 names, the more than 5,000 names will be viewable online.

The website hornymatches.com has approached Ms. Magazine, with hopes of attaching links to each of the women’s names since, it’s obvious, they like to party!

As Junior Gotti gets closer to walking free, Guardian Angel founder Curtis Sliwa has expressed a heightened level of fear and distress. This of course has nothing to do with Gotti, and everything to do with not having a date since ’94.

Suggestion: perhaps a new color beret, Rerun!

With Dustin “Screech” Diamond of the sitcom "Saved By the Bell" reportedly starring in a porno film, it’s only a matter of time before we see Jimmie Walker starring in his own flick.

Suggested titles parodying current and past films:

9 and a Half Nelson

Gridiron Gang Bang

Good Times, and Good F*ck

The Dickerman

The Dyno-MIGHTY D!cks

Stick O’ DynoMITE

I swear to God, if gas goes over two dollars a gallon, I’m quitting the biz!"

(Okayyyy, so perhaps I was a wee bit premature with my comments two years ago ;)

Abducted infant, Baby Abby, has been reunited with her family due to the suspected abductor’s sister-in-law recognizing a birthmark on the baby and then notifying authorities. Days ago the FBI had already discontinued pursuing Rosie O’Donnell as she had an alibi for her whereabouts on the night of the kidnapping.

President Bush spent the first night of the U.N. General Assembly with First Lady Laura Bush, his mother Barbara, and Secretary of State Rice at the New York Public Library to promote literacy.

Upon arrival, Bush was heard saying “Oh, could you read Dr. Seuss’ 'The Hap in the Cap'?”

Ms. Cruz reacts to the announcement that she’s been chosen to star in the live action production of a popular animated show.

Really? And who would play Stimpy?”

Christina Aguilera and her reps are angry with VIBE magazine because of the mags decision to use Bobby Brown’s image on their cover instead of Aguilera.

Let's see, beautiful young vixen with a chart topping album or 40-year-old ‘80s R&B singer (with alleged drug habit that allegedly has ruined his pop star wife’s career)?

Hmm, we want Bobby and it’s our prerogative!

“Okay... you're right. Ryan Seacrest does bear a slight resemblance.”