Germany on Thursday ordained its first rabbis since
World War II in an event hailed as a milestone in the
rebirth of Jewish life in the country responsible for
the Holocaust.

Just before the ceremony, one of the soon-to-be
rabbis said he was "excited and happy."

"They're even taking us there on a private train!"

Poland announced on Thursday it would send 1,000 more troops to Afghanistan.

Upon arrival, the troops wondered why everyone in Afghanistan spoke Chinese.

Two Andean condors, considered the world's largest flying bird, were set free on Tuesday in the Andes foothills by veterinarians.

The veterinarians had rescued and treated them for weeks them after finding them seriously ill and injured. The two huge birds appeared in excellent shape as they started their flight to freedom under clear skies.

This would have been fine if the vets hadn't yelled "PULL!"

Britney Spears gave birth to her second son early Tuesday at a Los Angeles hospital.

The child was delivered by a scheduled Cesarean section procedure.

When asked why he chose to be delivered Cesarean instead of the usual way, the baby replied, "I didn't want to touch something that was first used by Justin Timberlake and last used by Kevin Federline. I'd rather leave a scar than come out of that failure sandwich."

At least 10 stingrays have been killed since "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was fatally injured by one of the fish, an official said Tuesday, prompting a spokesman for the late TV star's animal charity to urge people not take revenge on the animals.

He said killing stingrays was "not what Steve was about."

"If Steve were here he wouldn't hurt the stingrays.

He'd poke them with a stick until they killed him again."

A man convicted of participating in the nation's deadliest human smuggling attempt was sentenced Monday to more than 23 years in prison.

The case stems from the 2003 deaths of 19 illegal immigrants.

Upon being contacted, Rodriguez seemed unphazed by the prospect of prison, saying "Prison doesn't seem that bad once you've smuggled 19 mexicans across the border in your ass."

Anna-Nicole Smith's son died yesterday. Doctors say that his death, although a tragedy, has aided medical science beyond measure, proving once and for all that you can in fact die of embarrassment.