Inside sources say that Brad and Angelina have made a move that will bring Madonna's new adopted baby, David, into their family, forming what experts are calling a "third world celebrity adoption dream team."

Pitt shocked famous adopters everywhere when he offered his and Angelina's birth child, Shiloh, for the rights to the newly acquired David. Madonna and Ritchie are said to be happy with the terms, which are rumored to include first dibs on a 2009 adoption to be held in Sri Lanka.

In a knee jerk response to Barack Obama's announcement that he will explore a run for the Democratic Presidential nomination, Hillary Clinton signed on as a junior member of the Ku Klux Klan.

In a low key ceremony in her home state of Arkansas, Hillary was inducted as an honorary klansman, ostensibly hoping to put some fear in the heart of her potential rival.

This is bullshit!  Madonna's adopted baby David Banda already has more My Space friends than me!  Its not fair.  I've been on My Space for over a year now, and that damn baby just joined yesterday.  He already has over 2000 friends!  And he doesn't even know how to type.  I for one am sick and tired of adopted african celebrity children stealing the spotlight from well deserved people like myself. Of course I added David as a friend, and put him in my top 8, but I'm still damn angry about it.  Not at you though David.  Thanks for the add dude.

America's 300,000,000 millionth person has entered the world and sadly, experts say that will most likely be the peak achievement of that child's life.

"Statistically speaking, these landmark babies don't amount to much in life," said Mark Somerton, a social science expert. "The pressure of being labeled a milestone in the human race is usually too much to bear, and the child will start to feel inadequate almost as soon as he or she can speak."

Somerton's conclusions are based on the fact that both the 100 millionth and the 200 millionth Americans both had promising careers before self destructing, eventually joining the freak show circuit and dying in poverty.

Review excerpted from Computer Gaming World magazine:

"I've been lucky enough to get advance play on Sony's Playstation 3, due out in November, and I can tell you that it's completely and totally fuckable. I played 'Virtua Fighter 5' for eight hours straight and I had an almost constant erection. Although I have never had sex with a 'real' woman, I'm still confident that these graphics beat the shit out of any breasts you might get your hands on.

I was worried that I might have to venture outside my house and interact with actual people, but Sony has really come through this time. I won't have to see the sun for at least the next year. A++"

Introducing...The Venetian Veil!

Wear the blinds up for complete Western assimiliation, but when those pesky morality police come poking around, simply tug, pull to the left, and presto! Instant Muslim old school.

In a Washington suburb Sunday, President Bush presided over the dedication of the first United States Air Force Memorial.

There was a massive security effort employed to make sure no one sensed any irony at the event.

A Midwestern Romance...

I hope she said yes, cause he's out like 30 bucks.