DailyComedy Links:    Home    Jokes    Videos    LateNet    Hot Topics    Comedy Store    Forum        Sign In | Sign Up
Did you know? We now allow guest commenting and rating on all our jokes and comedy videos! No need to register, just comment and rate. Go ahead... knock yourself out! Underneath each joke and video you can click on comments to read and post, and click on a star () to rate.

Jill Twiss
Jill Twiss


NY

You are here
Sponsored By
Biography
http://jilltwiss.blogspot.com
There are currently no comments.

Leave the first one!
Pictures
No pictures uploaded yet.
DailyComedy Fans
DailyComedy Favorites
This user has no favorites.
Joke Cloud (Popular Tags)
Joke List: Most Recent (From All Time)

Show Me: Most Recent | Highest Rated | Most Views | Most Shared | Most Comments

From Each: Day | Week | 2 Weeks | Month | 3 Months | 6 Months | Year | All Time
68 Jokes  
Previous Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7  

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
Smarter than the average....

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Sep 5, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

School

933 Jokes  35 Videos

According to scores on the 2006 ACT college entrance exam, only 21 percent of students applying to four-year institutions are ready for college-level work in all the tested areas.


This is a huge concern since these students will soon be entering the workforce and, at this rate, the only job in America that they'll be qualified for is the Presidency.

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
I'm Not Paying the Fine.....

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 30, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Iran

176 Jokes

Apparently Iran would like to have some nuclear weapons.

Who can blame them? Getting nuclear weapons is sort of like being in the Hells Angels. It's not that people actually respect you or think you're any smarter or more important than you used to be, but they sure pretend to.

We, on the other hand, would not like Iran to have nuclear weapons. We would like them to have tea parties and crayons and possibly even Pop Rocks, but no nuclear weapons.

The interesting conundrum is this: We were the ones that gave them the stuff to build the weapons in the first place.

Because we wanted them to have nuclear weapons.

We did. But now we don't. See?

Happened with Iraq too.

We gave them loads of weapons but then decided we'd rather they didn't have them.

We wanted them to have them then.

But not now.

See?

Er, may I offer a suggestion?

I think this "Here, have some weapons/If you have any weapons we're going to bomb you" cycle could get exhausting eventually (and by "eventually," I probably mean "yesterday.")

So how about now, when we give people weapons, we just assume that we're probably going to want them to not-have-weapons at some not-too-far-away point.

Thusly, instead of giving the weapons away, perhaps we could just let the other countries check them out. You know, like library books.

That way, when we want them back:

Sorry Pakistan, your weapons are overdue. You have to return them.

No, you can't renew them.

Someone else is waiting to check them out.


It'll work, I think.

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
Gang Violence....sort of

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 28, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!

A drugged-up Queens man went on a shooting-spree yesterday, hitting only red cars because he believed he was being threatened by the Bloods street gang.  Meanwhile, handicapped people all over the city are hiding out, just in case he next concludes that he’s being threatened by the Crips.

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
Buh Bye

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 25, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Tom Cruise

80 Jokes  9 Videos

The International Astronomical Union made the decision today that Pluto is no longer a planet.


Ironically, this occurred just one day after Paramount Pictures made the decision that Tom Cruise is no longer a star.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
Debby Does the Atlantic

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 24, 2006
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Playboy

67 Jokes  2 Videos

Tropical storm Debby (with a "y"), the fourth named storm of the season, formed in the Eastern Atlantic on Tuesday.

It is still unclear whether Debby will mature into a full-fledged hurricane.

If she does, though, one can only assume that she will follow in the path of other maturing Debbys and pose for Playboy, appear on "Skating with Celebrities," and insist on being referred to as Hurricane Deborah.

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
In Sickness and In Health

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 22, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Cop

1357 Jokes  15 Videos

So John Mark Karr was arrested in the murder of JonBenet Ramsey.

He was creepy and old and she was creepy and six and it's all over the news and you can read about it there and I don't much feel like talking about it.

Well, except this:

Apparently, John Mark Karr has been married twice. And the first time he was married was to a thirteen year old girl.

I find this horrifying.

Because, all moral judgments aside, have you ever MET a thirteen year old girl?

*I* have and, frankly, I'd rather watch four-hundred-seventy-two episodes of "Webster" while being stabbed in the eye with a ballpoint pen than be forced to spend an extended period of time with one.

I would think that about forty-five minutes of "Omigod! Did you hear what Jenni told Amber that Kaitlin told Trever about YOU?" and "Well, do you like me or do you like like me?" would cure anyone of their pedophilia.

Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
Justice for All

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 22, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Fox News

62 Jokes  5 Videos

On Fox News tonight there was a story about how you can actually get more jail time for stealing a pair of shoes than for being a child molester.

If this is true, I think there will be a lot of arguments like this in court:

"You can see, Your Honor, that it was just a simple misunderstanding. I wasn't planning to
steal his shoes. I was just taking them OFF so I could molest him. "

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

Jill Twiss
Visit My Profile
The Game of Life

By: Jill Twiss 
Submitted: Aug 22, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Video Game

96 Jokes  8 Videos

Apparently, Nintendo has created a diabetes management video game device in which players are rewarded with new game levels if they properly manage their diabetes. The device is called Glucoboy.

I think their slogan should be, "Glucoboy: In case the threat of impending death isn't incentive enough, we'll give you new game levels."

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:
Previous Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7