American Idol winner Taylor Hicks has signed a deal with Crown Publishers to write his memoir entitled, "Heart Full of Soul."

The original title was going to be "Yes, I'm Gray Down There Too."

Madonna has announced plans to raise $3 million to feed and educate children in the nation of Malawi.

Said Madonna, "I'm not exactly sure where Malawi is, but it sure does sound poor."

The September issue of "Playboy" magazine will feature Paris Hilton impersonator Natalie Reid of Canada.

Incidentally, Reid has officially replaced curling as Canada's most pathetic export.

Mel Gibson has been charged with misdemeanor drunken driving. If convicted, he faces up to six months in jail.

A better punishment is to make him spend six months in Boca Raton with Esther and Myron Rosenblatt.

AOL has announced plans to cut 5,000 workers over the coming months.

Laid off workers will be notified when they log onto their computers and hear the words, "You've got two-weeks notice."

A New York City man attempted to commit suicide yesterday by blowing up his townhouse, sending debris everywhere.

How selfish do you have to be to try and kill yourself and take the whole block with you? What a bad neighbor. You couldn't just jump off the building? Or better yet, stay inside and pop a few pills?

"Nah. If I go, I'm taking Starbucks, Taco Bell and the Gormans from next door with me."

To make it worse, the guy LIVED.

So, he's inconsiderate AND a failure. Oh, will there be dirty looks at the next block party.

Actress Loni Anderson was named in a poll as one of the most beautiful women over 60.

This GILF attributes her beauty to a proper diet, plenty of exercise, and a charter membership to Airbrushers Anonymous (above photo released prior to joining A.A.).

I went home to Boston recently. This is a photo of the door to my childhood bedroom. Notice the two black lines on the top-middle.

Below is a close-up of the top-middle of the door; I posted it when I was 14, using a label maker.

As you can see, I was a completely delusional 14-year-old.

By "Palace of Love," I think I meant, "Cluttered room filled with stacks of 'Hustler' I found in my neighbor's trash."

And by saying, "Over 40 Billion Served," I think I was referring to all the sperm who were allowed to relax in luxurious comfort on my sheets.

Needless to say, bless my parents for leaving everything as is. Ah, the memories.

How can you tell this table is being sold by a man?

According to BBC News, Nicole Kidman didn't need an annulment from Tom Cruise in order to marry Keith Urban in a Catholic Church—since Kidman and Cruise were wed in a Scientology ceremony, they were not officially married by Catholic Church standards.