I was watching the NBA Finals last night and noticed the Orlando Magic play at the "Amway" Arena... I wonder if after the fans go through the turnstiles they are bombarded with testimonials and brochures touting the wonders of multi-level marketing...

What do you call the comedic stylings of someone who pokes fun at the inability to control their own bowel movements?
Self-Defecating Humor..

Jay Leno's new show set to air this fall is being re-tooled.. Instead of talk and variety, it will be a reality show where Jay searches the country looking for distressed, vintage cars to buy, fix-up, and sell for profit... It's tentative title:  "Flip This Duesenberg"..

What would happen if  "Dark Knight" Christian Bale were walking around with a booger up his nose and his publicist told him "You have a bat in the cave"... Would he have any idea of what the hell they were talking about?

$30,000 has come up missing during the rescue operation of the Maersk Alabama freighter off the Somali coast in April.. The Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS) has opened an inquiry into how the cash went AWOL...
Guess who's leading the investigation? Mark Harmon..

Their new online search tool is named "Bing" and purportedly will be included in all new pc's sold starting next year... Most people, including myself, have been Google users for years now...
So what will be the first thing users type into the search box when this thing automatically opens up on their computers..... "Uninstall Microsoft Bing"...

Orthopedic specialists are reporting cases of cell phone elbow in patients that bend their arms too tightly and "stress out their ulnar nerves"... People that are constantly yapping on their cell phone around me in public "stress out ALL MY nerves"!

GM has agreed to sell Hummer to a "mystery buyer".... Last Saturday night around closing time at the bar, I got a "mystery girl" to sell ME a Hummer....

President Obama is creating a new White House position overseeing computer network security called "cyber czar"... We have too many czars;  drug czar, energy czar, and now this..
Why stop there, let's replace US Ambassador titles too! Now we could have a French czar, Japan czar, and of course a Russian czar...

Bob Barker revealed in his recent memoirs he thought about an offer to be in pornos when he was younger...When "Bob Barker" was "Younger??" Who would have been his co-stars? Mae West and Rudolph Valentino? The only director to consider this project was a young, struggling, still thin, pre-Citizen Kane Orson Welles....