What does Rick Pitino and NASA have in common? They both had to deal with aborted missions at some point in their past...

A couple were fined for having sex on a church altar in Lagos, Nigeria.. The judge also jailed the husband for pretending to be an African prince, scamming people thru unsolicited emails, and promising large sums of cash if they helped move money overseas via Western Union...

A disastrous midair collision occurred between a private plane and a tour helicopter over the Hudson River.. Sadly there were no survivors...On a lighter note, the last time I recalled hearing the words "Hudson" and "disastrous" being used in the same sentence involved Goldie Hawn's daughter and the reviews of her latest movie....

A beach bag bomb exploded in the women's restroom at a restaurant on the Spanish island of Mallorca and fortunately no one was injured. I must admit.. when I read the phrase "beach bag bomb" in the stories' headline, I immediately thought of some awful Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon film with a terrorist angle to it....

Director John Hughes, responsible for such memorable 80's films as Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and The Breakfast Club recently died of a heart attack in Manhattan.... Per his families' wishes, he will be buried in a plot alongside Molly Ringwald's panties..

An Australian school was forced into lock down mode after a herd of deer amassed on the playground. Authorities said game wardens armed with tranquilizer guns are being called in.. Coincidentally, Ted Nugent has chartered a flight to Sydney..... and he didn't pack a tranquilizer gun!!

The annual, week-long theme on the Discovery Channel is devoted to the ocean predators.. Last night, professional golfer Fred Funk described how he thwarted multiple shark attacks recently... Oh wait, my mistake.. He merely showed up fellow duffer and perennial choke artist Greg Norman at the last two major tournaments...

A Louisville, KY high school basketball coach was fired after inappropriate phone calls to a female student. Jefferson County Public Schools released Michael Wilson for "conduct unbecoming a teacher"... Coincidentally, the only thing  "becoming on the teacher"  would have been the student..

Because of the enormous popularity of the car trade-in program, the government wants to entice cave explorers to exchange their old gear for new eco-friendly equipment.... Their calling it "Cash For Spelunkers"...

What do you call it when a couple has kinky sex and they get off while incorporating baked pastries in the bedroom?
..."Roll Playing"...