"Palin and McCain are a good pair. She's pro-life and he's clinging to life."

Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin's been spending the last couple of days being briefed by advisers on what she needs to know to be John McCain's vice president. That's true. Yeah. Apparently, the first thing they taught her was CPR."

Conan O'Brien

"Are you kidding me, the mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Yeah, that’s who you want in the White House during a time of crisis. When she got a phone call at 3 in the morning, it was because a moose had gotten in the garbage can."

Bill Maher

"This isn't a presidential ticket, this is a sitcom. The maverick and the MILF."

Bill Maher

"She said she had not enjoyed it. Isn't that amazing? Something like 100 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only people who don't seem to enjoy it are running for office."

Jay Leno

"Back in 1984, Sarah Palin finished second in the Miss Alaska pageant. Now she might be the vice president. You know what that means? For the first time in history, a beauty-pageant contestant might actually bring about world peace."

Jay Jeno 

"And you've got to love this: Sarah Palin is an avid hunter. An avid hunter. A vice president who likes guns? Well, what could go wrong there?"

David Letterman

"Earlier tonight, I don't know if you saw it, Sarah Palin gave a tremendous speech to the Republicans, though some are claiming it was actually her daughter's speech."

David Letterman

Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings

Conan O'Brien

"Vice Presidential candidate  Sarah Palin has many views. She says she's opposed to same-sex marriage. Did you know that? Yeah, Palin says everyone knows marriage isn't for gay people; it's for pregnant teenagers."

Conan O'Brien