ABC’s Good Morning America on Tuesday aggressively pushed the story about how Sarah Palin’s teenaged daughter is pregnant….ABC’s David Wright suggested the McCain camp was trying to bury the “skeleton in the closet” by putting the news out as the hurricane hit…

A pregnancy is not a skeleton in the closet. It's a bun in the oven. If it were a Democratic candidate’s daughter, then it would be a skeleton in the closet, since that’s what would be left after the abortion. 

John Edwards was banned from speaking at the Democratic Convention in light of his extra-marital affair and subsequent lying about it. Bill Clinton spoke in his place.

So far, what I know best about Sarah Palin from all the coverage this weekend is that she’s an avid hunter who has killed many Alaskan caribou. That’s all we need: another vice president with a rifle.

Fidel orders his arrest.

Former DNC chairman Don Fowler was secretly taped saying that the timing of Hurricane Gustav falling on the Republican convention "demonstrates that God's on our side."

But why would God be on the Democratic side? Because he hates America, fetuses, and God?

In an attempt to counter reports by his wife that he's "stinky," Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama has chosen for his running mate the man who last year affirmed, "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Obama said he hopes it will put an end to Freudian campaign slogans such as “Send B.O. to the White House!” and “The American people deserve B.O.!” and “I’m with B.O.” As well as opposition slogans such as “Why settle for B.O.?”

Trying to dig up McCain’s own gaffes this week, some news media recalled how he couldn’t say how many houses, exactly, he and his wife own, referring reporters to his staff. But what do you want? He’s a typical Democrat.

To assuage Jewish voters worried about his middle name, the Change candidate Barack Obama is set to announce Thursday night that he will be changing his name to Ehud Barack Hussein Obama.

Q.  What does the Chinese Olympics dog-and-pony show have in common with the Democratic Convention dog-and-pony show?
 
A.  They're both put on by commies!

Indeed, "change" candidate Barack Obama's choice for VP -- a fixture of Congress's Democratic Machine for more than four decades -- is consistent with the message of change. A change of diaper, that is.

How does that Jamaica ad jingle go? What's old is what's new...