Asked by GQ whether she fancied Tony Blair, Paris Hilston answered, “Who?”

Attagirl! That’s exactly what a star is supposed to be! More of today's celebrities need to take a page from old-time stars the way Paris has done. For example, when Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev came here on a visit and requested an evening out with Marilyn Monroe, someone had to tell her who he was. Because Marilyn was like, “Krushchev WHO??”

That’s my girl! That’s when stars knew how to be stars and actors knew their place. After all, saying “Who’s Tony Blair?” is much smarter than saying “Bush is a Nazi!”

This week, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro underwent surgery for gastrointestinal bleeding, temporarily handing over power to Elian Gonzalez.

He also has pushed off his birthday celebration that the whole country is required to celebrate in the streets. (The closest thing we have to that here is Oprah's birthday.)

California abortion advocates have persuaded labor unions to oppose a ballot proposal requiring abortion practitioners to alert parents of minors seeking abortions.

This makes no sense. I thought unions were supposed to be pro-labor!  How can they be pro-abortion and pro-labor?

Mel Gibson has apologized for his behavior last week when he was stopped for drunk driving and went on a tirade that included blaming Jews for all the wars in the world. In his statement he wrote, “I have battled with the disease of alcoholism for all of my adult life and profoundly regret my horrific relapse [into anti-Semitism].”

At least now Mel has something in common with Dubya, whom he has criticized. They’ve both been stopped for DUI, though Gibson points out that Bush was driving under Jewish influence.