A Buffalo man who founded a cable TV station to promote better understanding of Muslims in the U.S. has been arrested on charges he beheaded his wife. For obvious reasons, next weeks show on wiring up your child's backpack has been canceled.

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Citing permanent, career-ending injuries, 29 year-old minor leaguer John Nathans of the independent Bridgeport Bluefish is seeking $4.8 million in damages from former All-Star Jose Offerman after being struck in the head with a bat by Offerman in 2007. Defense attorneys counter that being 29, batting .208, and playing in front of 900 people in Bridgeport, CT is already career-ending.  

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Archeologists have identified 200,000 year old human hairs in the fossilized dung of a hyena. The discovery surpasses the previous record for ancient human hair found late last year on the microphone of the fossilized Larry King. 

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The National Bowhunters Hall of Fame is proud to announce Ted Nugent as their most recent inductee.....scratch that, we mean only inductee. 

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Plunging global sales have Toyota heading for its first annual net loss since 1950 and it's worse over all loss since World War ll. 

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During an interview with the BBC Thursday, Darren Aronofsky, director of The Wrestler, said that Christian Bale's f-word filled rant was "reasonable" and "not out of line." Aronofsky then called the reporter a "wanker" and repeatedly struck her over the head with a folding chair.  

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Slumping sales brought on by the current economic slowdown have forced the makers of the antiwrinkle drug Botox to cut 5% of its workforce. Apparently people are more concerned with stretching a dollar, than stretching their face. 

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State legislators are attempting to pass a bill requiring all South Carolina cities and counties to give their workers a paid day off for Confederate Memorial Day. To properly honor the day, as well as address the state's current financial crisis, all employee's will be paid in Confederate money. 

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A Plainfield, Illinois man pleaded guilty Tuesday to stealing $400,000 from an 80-year-old former nun. I'm not sure which disturbs me more, a man breaking the trust of a nun and stealing $400,000 or a nun breaking a vow of poverty and having $400,000 to steal. 

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Seven people in Japan were sickened by Blowfish testicles Tuesday night. Hootie blamed the incident on loose fitting shorts and a poorly timed "stage dive."  

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