LONDON – Nuclear-armed submarines from Britain and France collided in the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month, authorities acknowledged Monday — touching off new concerns about the safety of the world's deep sea missile fleets.

Torpedos were almost exchanged when the British captain called the French captain a mis-directed nancy-boy, and the French captain called the British captain a nose-picking swine whose ancestors swam in donkey urine.

A student who is auctioning her virginity to pay for a masters degree in Family and Marriage therapy has seen bidding hit £2.5million ($3.7m).

The only customer she'll get for Family and Marriage therapy will be Hugh Hefner. 

BEIJING (Reuters) - A 107-year-old Chinese woman who was afraid to marry when she was young has decided to look for her first husband and hopes to find a fellow centenarian so they will have something to talk about, a Chinese paper reported.

If they run out of discussions on bowel movements and arthritis, they can always complain about the wait staff at restaurants together.

HOUSTON -- A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye and told authorities he ate it. 

Prison authorities said they would keep an eye on him.  

Police describe a disturbing and bizarre crime trend: escalating violence among adults at a place designed for children's birthday parities.

Any adult who spends more than 10 minutes at Chuck E. Cheese is going to want to hit someone.  Duh!  Why do you think they sell beer there?

LONDON – The tiny tangled threads of the world's oldest spider web have been found encased in a prehistoric piece of amber, a British scientist said Monday.

The web was connected to a "be right back" sign in a DMV window.

SYDNEY (AFP) – Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but Australian scientists are using it to diagnose dementia, according to research published on Friday.

Like that’s going to really work.

TEHRAN, Iran (AP) - Iran's nuclear chief, Gholam Reza Aghazadeh, says Iran now has more than 5,000 centrifuges operating, in defiance of U.N. demands that Tehran halt its controversial nuclear program.

In defense, Aghazadeh said nuclear power is the only way Iran can provide enough electricity to run more than 5,000 centrifuges.

They are now breeding a camel fast enough to deliver the weapon.

Christmas at New York City's Rockfeller Center will feature a tree from western New Jersey that its owners call a "miracle."

Workers are cutting down the 72-foot tall Norway spruce on the grounds of Tree King nursery in Hamilton, which is owned by the Varanyak family.

He says it's "the miracle tree" because his late mother always said it would one day be on display at Rockefeller Center.

His brother, Bob, says they recently saw a blue bird in the tree and they believe the bird was their mother guarding it.

________

Unfortunately, the blue bird was crushed by the falling tree, and its recently hatched chicks froze to death in the crisp, NJ air....but the tree is beautiful, and if you squint your eyes, tree rings on the stump almost look like Santa Claus.