There is a bunch of videos on youtube where kids crush "smarties" candy in the wrapper, and then "smoke" the candy dust. 

Experts are now debating whether "smarties" is a gateway candy. 

(the following was well into the news story)

Oddly, the Brazilian spider delivers more than a painful bite that sends most victims to the hospital. Researchers have found its venom also stimulates an hours-long erection in men.

Patients not only experience overall pain and an increase in blood pressure, they also get an uncomfortable erection.

In Brazil, emergency room staff can immediately spot the victims of a bite.

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So I guess we might be reading about Hugh Heffner dying from a spider bite some day.

Isn't that like a balsa wood avalanche or popcorn tsunami?

Phoenix (AP) - Federal authorities told a high-profile Arizona sheriff Tuesday that they will investigate his department over allegations of discrimination and unconstitutional searches and seizures.
 
The U.S. Justice Department said in a letter to Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio that investigators will focus on alleged patterns of police discrimination based on national origin.
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A quick summary:  A legally elected U.S. citizen sheriff of a state bordering Mexico is being investigated for upholding immigration laws, and is being accused of unfairly targeting Hispanics!

Isn't that like a policeman being investigated for arresting bank robbers, and unfairly targeting people wearing masks, holding guns and sacks of money while leaving just-robbed banks?

(I know you left-wingers won't like this, so shoot me; wait, you don't believe in the right to bear arms....  ha ha)

Three patients receiving treatment for burrito overdoses are said to be doing well.

HUNTINGTON STATION, Suffolk County - Police are investigating a shooting at a barber shop that wounded a 15-year-old boy.    Police said the boy was in the Mi Gente Barber Shop Saturday night when an unknown person riding a bicycle fired six rounds into the store.

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It's good to see that some gang bangers are environmentally conscious; saving their carbon credits for more important gang shootings. 

Here is the heading of an email that went out to all employees of the office where I work:

Subject: Mandatory Suicide Training

Importance: High

Aquatic animals that feed on lake and stream bottom sediments burp out small amounts of nitrous oxide, a potent greenhouse gas, a new study finds.

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Thank God they don't drive SUVs!

Can listening to sexually aggressive lyrics prompt teenagers to have sex at an earlier age?

That's the issue raised by a new study, and it could unleash a fierce debate over whether a teen's music player is potentially risky and -- if so -- what should or can be done about it.

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I always thought getting naked in the back seat prompted teenagers to have sex.

Under a new deal, the government revamped its rescue package to the insurance giant, AIG, saying it will give an additional $30 billion on an "as needed" basis.  AIG's bailout now totals around $173 billion.  The U.S. government has now made four separate efforts to save the company.

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Maybe I just don't understand these things, but shouldn't AIG have had insurance?