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"ATTENTION:"

January 1, 2010
Nowhere, Nowhere, NY

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Biography

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I'm probably the only left-handed, married with four kids, PhD scientist, standup comic living in Beacon, New York.

Buy my children's book, "Nancy Newt Never Naps!" Really. You can check it out at www.nancynewt.com

I produce "clean" comedy shows in Dutchess County and surrounding areas. If you would like a comedy show for an event (party, wedding, fundraiser, etc.), contact me at beacon1b@yahoo.com

And if you are desperate, check out my goals in life at [more]

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245 Jokes  

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National debt grows $1 million a minute By: Steve Knowles (C) Submitted: Dec 3, 2007 Category: News

From Hot Topic Alex Rodriguez 91 Jokes  1 Videos

WASHINGTON - Like a ticking time bomb, the national debt is an explosion waiting to happen. It's expanding by about $1.4 billion a day — or nearly $1 million a minute. To put it in perspective for the average American: that's slightly more than a dollar for every Starbucks store that opened last year, and almost as much as Alex Rodriguez gets paid while sitting in the Yankees dugout. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Chimpanzees smarter than humans? By: Steve Knowles (C) Submitted: Dec 3, 2007 Category: News

From Hot Topic Animal 1056 Jokes  34 Videos

Japanese researchers pitted young chimps against human adults in two tests of short-term memory, and overall, the chimps won. In defense, the college students stated, "But we crushed the chimps in Halo 3!" Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Michael Vick By: Steve Knowles (C) Submitted: Dec 1, 2007 Category: Sports

From Hot Topic Michael Vick 100 Jokes  1 Videos

Michael Vick has reportedly agreed to pay for the care of 54 pit bull dogs. Vick stated, "If you don't take care of them, they don't fight worth crap" Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Space Shuttle Emergency Landing Sites By: Steve Knowles (C) Submitted: Nov 29, 2007 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic Space 277 Jokes  3 Videos

Emergency backup space shuttle landing strips have been announced by NASA: 1) Edwards Air Force Base 2) Bangor International Airport 3) Angelina Jolie's bottom lip Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Love in the Time of Cholera By: Steve Knowles (C) Submitted: Nov 29, 2007 Category: Entertainment

There's a movie out called "Love in the Time of Cholera". Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but fatal diarrhea doesn't seem too romantic to me. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it: