NEW YORK (AP) - The amusement park company Six Flags is seeking Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, saying it needs to reorganize and shed $1.8 billion of debt.

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The new parks, "Three Flags", will not have working roller coasters (just the tracks).  But there will be a lot of homeless guys wandering around, wearing various super hero T-shirts.

Ticket prices are expected to rise only 7%.

TEHRAN (Reuters) - State media declared President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the winner of Iran's election but challenger Mirhossein Mousavi alleged irregularities and claimed victory for himself.
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Ahmadinejad, the radical incumbent president of Iran, believes Israel should be wiped off the face of the earth like rabid dogs.

Mousavi, the moderate challenger, believes Israel should just be wiped off the face of the earth.

Cher's daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male.

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It's not really that surprising since Cher has had everything but her sex organs changed at least three times.

Cher's daughter Chastity Bono is changing gender from female to male.

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Michael Jackson's third nose is being considered for the procedure.

WASHINGTON – Ten of the nation's largest banks were given the green light Tuesday to repay $68 billion in government bailout money, freeing them from restrictions on executive compensation that they say are making it hard to keep their top-performing executives.

Donald Trump picked Joan Rivers as the winner, over Annie Duke, a professional poker player.

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My dentist is a bigger celebrity than Annie Duke, and nobody has ever heard of him either.

CHICAGO SUN-TIMES EXCLUSIVE | 4-foot Ledge walkway will let visitors look 103 stories straight down

..at all the corrupt politicians walking the streets below.

Freddie Mac Acting Chief Financial Officer David Kellermann, 41, was found dead of an apparent suicide by hanging.

Police said that the three gunshot wounds to his head, and his involvement with the nation's largest financial meltdown, were completely coincidental.

"Arrrrrrr ye ready to talk because we're heavily arrrrrrrrmed"

WASHINGTON, April 9 (Reuters) - U.S. President Barack Obama declined to answer reporters' questions on Thursday on a hostage crisis off the coast of Somalia, where a U.S. ship captain is being held captive by pirates.

But he was quick to point out that he correctly predicted the winner of the NCAA men's basketball tournament and that people still mostly really like him in Europe.