The doctor slapped the baby and then he slapped Cheney to restart his heart.

In lieu of a traditional baptism, the child will be waterboarded. 

Sarah Palin was upset by a Newsweek cover that showed her wearing a skimpy outfit.  John McCain was also upset--that Palin didn't wear that outfit on the campaign trail.

In annual survey, Afghanistan was second only to Illinois.

Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.

Elton John says he's back on his feet after being sidelined for the flu, E. Coli,  and a yeast infection.

President Obama chastised the Chinese leadership for China's lack of freedom of speech.  To which one of the Chinese leaders replied, "Freedom of speech is dangerous.  We've heard Joe Biden speak."

A  beverage company has asked a team to drill through Antarctica's ice for Scotch whisky that has been on the rocks for a century.   They chose Antarctica because drilling for Scotch whisky is forbidden in the enviromentally-sensitive Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.  

Hopefully, this technology is soon available in the US.   There is enough manure in Washington to power the entire East Coast.

For all women under 50, Bill Clinton is offering free breast exams.