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WWW.VERBALCARTOONIST.COM is NOW UP AND RUNNING and voted BEST NEW COMEDY SITE.
Five days ago we hit 1,000 VISITS a day. Today I am at just under 1,400 individual visits a day. Find out Why.

Just recently came out with my book 'DISCONTINUED SOUP' Available through Barnes & Noble etc have done several years of stand up in NYC and the Midwest.

I have a weekly feature (Dan Liebert, Verbal Cartoonist) on www.mcsweeneys.net/links/danliebert. Also I have recorded weekly bits for national NPR's 'Fair Game' show.

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Lucy Logsdon (Guest) says:

Your stuff is hilarious. I found it because I read via Illinois Arts Council newsletter that a poetry recipient from Elizabethtown had won---and I found this David Sedaris--like stuff instead. Are you really living in the Elizabethtown in Southern Illinois--on the Ohio River? That's crazy!...

Beth Schumann says:

I'm sorry. I know I'm a total snot. I didn't think you stole my joke, I know that lots of people can come up with similar ideas. I was just having a bad day, a fight with my husband, etc. etc. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, sorry. Of course your joke is hilarious, because great minds think...

Ray Ellin says:

so funny... all of it.

Octavia Smith says:

I'm so loving this page.keep it coming.

Dan Liebert says:

Thanks Ray, I've enjoyed you many times from the balcony at the Strip. If you see DF tell him hello and be sure to let him know you like my stuff - he taught me.

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Joke Cloud (Popular Tags)

Joke List: Most Recent (From All Time)

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82 Jokes  

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New York Deli Sarcasm By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 9, 2007 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic New York 1180 Jokes  34 Videos

No one is more sarcastic than a New York deli counterman. I asked him why the buffalo mozzarella cost so much more than the regular. "Didja ever try to milk a buffalo?" Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Aldi's Discount Market By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 7, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic Animal 1056 Jokes  34 Videos

Ever heard of Aldi's Discount Market? Their motto is 'Food So Cheap You're Afraid to Eat It'. Their cola is so cheap you cash in the cans and make a profit. It's guaranteed to taste brown or your money back. And hot dogs for 79 cents a pound??? We know hot dogs are made out of things like pig lips so what are REALLY cheap hot dogs made out of? Pig lips with herpes sores? Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Condom In The Woods By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 6, 2007 Category: Sports  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Birth Control 369 Jokes  9 Videos

The most embarrassing thing I ever did. In third grade I found a used condom in the woods and brought it to school for show-and-tell: "Every year about this time, the snakes shed their skins...." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Condom In The Woods By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 6, 2007 Category: Sports

From Hot Topic Birth Control 369 Jokes  9 Videos

The most embarrassing thing I ever did. In third grade I found a used condom in the woods and brought it to school for show-and-tell: "Every year about this time, the snakes shed their skins...." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Little Ndouga By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 4, 2007 Category: Weird

I got a letter from Child International. "Won't you adopt Ndouga, a little boy nobody wanted?" Frankly, I'm a little tired of people trying to stick me with crap no one else wanted. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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DEMENTIA!!! By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 2, 2007 Category: Weird

I'm working on a horror screenplay called DEMENTIA! . I got the idea from this old man who used to live above me on 10th St. and had senile dementia and used to go to the diner in his pajamas and ask for oatmeal at three o'clock in the afternoon when everyone knows they don't serve oatmeal after eleven. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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OUT OF THE CRATE By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Nov 1, 2007 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

I get my furniture really cheap from a place called "Out of the Crate." Everything looks like its made out of a crate. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Fad By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Oct 31, 2007 Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Starbucks 62 Jokes

Starbucks, wine-tasting clubs, water departments, tisanes, intravenous fluids....this fad for liquids shows little sign of abating. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Chinese Food Names By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Oct 29, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic China 308 Jokes  8 Videos

I eat an awful lot of Chinese food for someone who's not Chinese. You seldom see Chinese people eating Jewish food. There's a huge trade inbalance there. Chinese food is SO beautiful! Even the names are beautiful. The other night I got a dish called "Seven Precious Treasures on a Bed of Jade". I didn't know whether to eat it or sell it on ebay. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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The Americans With Disabilities Act of 1990 By: Dan Liebert (C) Submitted: Oct 28, 2007 Category: Weird

From Hot Topic Congress 246 Jokes  2 Videos

On July 26, 1990, congress passed the Americans With Disabilities Act and ever since then people in wheelchairs have been just a LITTLE too fucking cocky. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (4)  |  Rate it: