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I'm a silky smooth, neurotic mess. But I clean up nice.

I'm a standup comedian, yet I'm not really a standup comedian. I'm more of a comedy writer with a microphone. Yes, that's right, the worst kind of hack imaginable. So, If I end up dead in a ditch, start questioning all "road warrior" comics immediately.

For more clips and other me-related stuff, go to http://myspace.com/dhcomedy.

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55 Jokes  

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Also, No Fathering Multiple Babies By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jun 23, 2008 Category: Sports

From Hot Topic Basketball 781 Jokes  4 Videos

An over-50 women's basketball league has instituted a "no-dunking" rule. This will be added to the list of rules that includes "do not play watchable basketball." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Farrah Fawcett Wanted for Arson By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jun 18, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Texas 289 Jokes  4 Videos

Poor Rick Perry. First the Texas Governor's mansion nearly burns to the ground, now there are rumors floating around that he's gay. I'm not saying either way, but I can tell you that no 58-year-old straight guy should have feathered hair. In 2008. Hell, the Disco Era called and is threatening a lawsuit. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Get Your Irony-Free ED Drugs Here! By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jun 16, 2008 Category: News  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Rush Limbaugh 67 Jokes

New "pro-life" pharmacies are opening up, designed to appeal to conservatives. They won't stock any contraceptives, but expect to find plenty of Rush Limbaugh-endorsed Vicodin, along with Mark Foley's favorite water-based lubricant. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Meeting the Challenge By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jun 2, 2008 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic Cop 1357 Jokes  15 Videos

Academy Award-winning actress Tatum O'Neal was arrested this past weekend for allegedly buying crack cocaine. According to a police spokesman, she used her one phone call to contact her agent, to whom she stated "See? I can too get arrested in this town." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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BeLIEve Me! By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Apr 22, 2008 Category: Political

From Hot Topic Barack Obama 882 Jokes  28 Videos

Yesterday in Pennsylvania, Bill Clinton was recorded on audio telling a reporter "they [Obama] played the race card on me". Later, he claimed "I never said that". When confronted again today, Clinton said "I am not Bill Clinton". Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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They'll Both Lose Out to MC Hammer By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 29, 2008 Category: Entertainment

From Hot Topic Billy Ray Cyrus 9 Jokes

A commercial for a Hannah Montana concert was on my TV this morning. I'm looking forward to about fifteen years from now, when Miley Cyrus can sit around arguing with her dad over whose "Where Are They Now" special got higher ratings. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

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Jokes That Write Themselves, Part 324 By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 28, 2008 Category: Political

From Hot Topic Barack Obama 882 Jokes  28 Videos

Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, who described Bill Clinton as the U.S.'s "first black president" a decade ago, has announced her support for Barack Obama. In other news, Ms. Morrison is the recipient of a successful eye transplant. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it:

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Yeah, but Clinton Banged 935 Interns By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 25, 2008 Category: Political  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Iraq 411 Jokes  3 Videos

A nonprofit group has produced a new report documenting 935 false statements by Bush administration officials leading up to the Iraq war. The report, titled "No Shit", was handed to a man named Sherlock. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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How Do You Embalm a Career? By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 18, 2008 Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!

From Hot Topic Lindsay Lohan 106 Jokes  2 Videos

Lindsay Lohan must work two days in a morgue as part of a court-ordered program. "This'll be a piece of cake," Lohan predicted, "I spend pretty much every weekend surrounded by stiff guys." Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (2)  |  Rate it:

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Chocolate Salty Bawls By: Dave Houston (C) Submitted: Jan 14, 2008 Category: Sports

From Hot Topic Terrell Owens 28 Jokes

A tearful Isaac Hayes muttered something about his love for the late Sonny Bono, and asked the press to be respectful. ...what? Terrell Owens? Dallas Cowboys press conference? Oh. Man, I have got to stop hitting the scotch before noon. Facebook  MySpace  Twitter  Email          |  Comments (1)  |  Rate it: