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Sam Vargo
"- there's never enough time to waste doing all the idiotic things I don't need to do."
Yip Yap, SK
      
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I like to share jokes on Daily Comedy.
Hey, some people enjoy solving crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles or even cutting out paper mache' dolls or doing bonzai. I wish I could trade my joke writing hobby in for a craft like needlestitch, scrap-booking or even coloring in coloring books. Or, perhaps even collecting dead bugs - now these are some worthwhile avocations, I'm telling you!!!
WHY YOU SHOULD HATE ME - All jokes and material here right now are Copyright of Samuel S. Vargo, ALL RIGHTS [more]
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Joke List: Most Recent (From All Time)
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- that ex-Presidential hopeful and now, obvious Vice Presidential wanna-be John Edwards admitted that he had an affair.
- He had an affair while his wife was battling cancer? Jeez, what a -
- What would even be met with more boredom and apathy by most of the American public right now than even this?
- a news flash that even though he's not physiically sick, John Edwards passed away of natural causes. . . .
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Statement: Recently, some brilliant White Wing Pundits, Politicians and Pooper Scoopers accused Sen. Barack Obama of having some of the characteristics of Betty Boop celebs like America's darlings Paris and Britney.
Reply: Among a host of other psychopathic and sociopathic problems, could the White Wing be having a sexual identity crisis on top of all the other junk they're suffering from lately?
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Sign above a short-order cook's grill in "Steeler" Land: Peso vs. Dollar Before NAFTA - 1,000 to 1. The Peso after NAFTA: 1 to 1,000. I used to work in a steel mill. Now I grill at The Hill Diner.
Thought for the day - make it EVERY DAY -
"KEEP A COOL TOOL AND DON'T LET YOUR MEAT LOAF!!!"
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Q. What golf club is used to wrap against a live oak tree after one scores a 17 on a par three?
A. A tree iron. Sometimes it's a tree wood, though.
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Q. - What da'ya'call a deranged, crazed weatherman wearing a lightning rod that protrudes straight from a makeshift beanie cap; wandering around aimlessly on the Texas prairie after being struck by lightning 57 times in the last 8 minutes during the latest hurricane? Need more? Well, just add that this weathrman is knocking door to door, carrying an axe in one hand and a screeching chainsaw in the other, yelling and screaming like a castrated, insane and aggressively violent armidillo?
A. - the central character of the latest Fear Net movie on cable TV.
Q. - Add an incredibly stupid looking space craft blinking on & off, on & off like a child's blinking, blazing electronic tennis shoes and then what'da'ya call this whole scenario now?
A. - the latest lead character on the newest Sci-Fi Channel movie.
Q. - throw in some crazy writing's under this man's talking head, add a few starched shirt guests and a pompous laugh now and again and what d'ya'av?
A. - the Fox News or MSNBC late night news anchor and its horribly ostentatious show.
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Q: What has a couple million very sharp teeth, one big eye and a vociferous, nasty voice that works 24-7?
A: Well, to be fair and balanced, it's either Fox News or MSNBC & their devoted watchers - take your pick!!!
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Q: You've seen 'em all - that incredible waste of trees waiting around unwanted and unread in cold metal rack dispensories, plus all those rancid, lame sit-coms, dummy washes and all that hype they call "Prime Time" -
Q: So what d'ya call ten thousand guilded writers buried at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good fucking start!!!
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Help Wanted: Chimneysweeps and Dog Doodoo picker uppers needed for stark Victorian recession times. We're looking for American citizens but will even consider illegal aliens from outer space. No background checks, only height and weight maximums for "best" of these horrid jobs. Chimneysweeps must be no more than 35 inches tall and weigh no more than 78 pounds. Ideal candidates: infant orphans, "little people" (ie., midgets and dwarfs), and anorexic, sickly drug addict winos and hopheads. Dog Shit Picker Uppers can be much larger but must have a cast iron stomach and the ability not to smell very well. All jobs pay on production levels - one chimney, one red cent; 10 pieces of dog shit, one-half of a third of a quarter of a penny. Also, a few jobs are available for cleaning up paper-strewn closed banks and savings & loans. One financial institution cleaned = one red cent. Hurry, while this company still has some money and doesn't go belly up very soon!!!
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