I guess it's big news that the Kosovo Government ERECTED a statue to honor President Bill Clinton....

Monica Lewinski commented that it was a very nice ERECTION.

Hillary Clinton said that she hadn't seen it.

Hospitals in rural parts of the midwest and deep south have been reporting increased numbers of males in their late 30s and early 40s showing up with circulation issues mainly in their forearms and hands.

Upon further investigation it was discovered that these men were wrapping their arms in rubberbands to mourn the passing of WWF superstar Captain Lou Albano.

Do ya think a homosexual male was ever presented by a potential suiter with equipment so large that he was scared straight?

Well do ya?

Playboy Magazine in an effort to boost sales has begun pursuing celebrity centerfolds.

November features Marge Simpson as a cover girl.

Apparently Hugh Hefner in his senility didn't realize that she's not  a real girl.

Look for upcoming issues to include...

Betty & Veronica, The Girls of Scooby Doo, and Bugs Bunny dressed as a girl bunny.

I feel bad for past Nobel Peace Prize winners, now that Obama won a peace prize it really makes the achievments of Bono seem far less spectacular.

It wasn't enough when some  members of the press were pointing to First Lady, Michelle Obama's, muscular physique and some dirtbag journalists referred to her as having man arms.

 No! That wasn't enough!

Today there is a "news story" about Michelle Obama having a large staff.

 Now that's just wrong!

 Whats next? Are we going to demand that our first ladies go through a gender verification test like some sort of South African runner?

The Philadelphia Eagles are changing their name to The Philadelphia Vultures because vultures will pick up any dead diseased carcass from the side of the road!

Welcome to Philly Michael Vick!

So....

Last night I was up late watching a scary movie... And there was this big scary guy with a garden tool and he was like...

I'm Back!

And I was like... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And then he said it's me Billy Mays for The Awesome Auger Garden Tool.

Everytime I search for pictures of the Suicide Girls my computer keeps returning pictures of Islamic Women with bombs strapped to them.

Walter Cronkite had been suffering with Dimentia for the last few years and when he would tell his family wild stories they would try to calm him by telling him that they didn't really happen.

This enraged Walter  and he would bellow, YOU'RE going to tell me the way it is! I CREATED that's the way it is.

Walter Cronkite died at home on Friday due to complications caused by all the Michael Jackson news coverage.

 And that's the way it was on July 17th 2009.