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Neil McGarry
Neil McGarry
"Puberty ended 25 years ago and I'm still waiting for my voice to change."

Philadelphia, PA

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Neil McGarry
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Jesus was gay

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Feb 19, 2010
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Gay and Lesbian

653 Jokes  27 Videos

Elton John says that Jesus was gay. This explains alot. Not even death is going to keep a gay man in on the weekend.


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Neil McGarry
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Presidential debates

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 29, 2010
Category: Political  Staff Pick!

Presidential debates, to me, are like muppets jerking off. There are alot of funny sounds and the fur flies, but in the end nothing is going to come out.


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Neil McGarry
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Yoda and getting older

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 28, 2010
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Star Wars

38 Jokes  4 Videos

I first saw "The Empire Strikes Back" as a child and thought, "Yoda is eight hundred years old...what a Jedi!"  Now that I am an adult, I can't help thinking, "Eight hundred years...his 401K must be incredible."


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Neil McGarry
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Freegans

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 28, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Dating

758 Jokes  45 Videos

Freegans are folks who live only on stuff other people have thrown out. They have homes and jobs, but they Dumpster-dive for clothes, household items, and even food. I'm as concerned about the environment as anyone, but if I want to put trash in my mouth I’ll go back to dating.


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Neil McGarry
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Job Interviews

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 28, 2010
Category: Weird  

A job interview is like a first date. You dress up, you pretend to be someone you’re not, and you spend the whole time wondering if you're going to get screwed.


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Neil McGarry
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Voting for Democrats

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 28, 2010
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Democrat

2463 Jokes  14 Videos

The older I get, the more I realize that voting for a Democrat is kind of like fucking someone you feel sorry for. You feel noble at first, but you always regret it later, and that person never stops calling you.


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Neil McGarry
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Haiti and God-sent earthquakes

By: Neil McGarry (C)
Submitted: Jan 28, 2010
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Pat Robertson

26 Jokes  1 Videos

So Pat Robertson says that God sent the earthquake to Haiti because, 200 years ago, the Haitians made a deal with the devil to revolt against France. I don't know much about God, but it's amusing that Pat Robertson thinks anyone needs the devil's help to defeat the French.


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Biography
In his long and checkered career Neil McGarry has worn many guises: foot messenger, editorial assistant, legal administrator, author, technical writer and graphic designer, but in 2007 he decided to go one step further. Following a long-time desire to do stand-up comedy, he read some books, watched some videos, took instruction from the amazing Joey Callahan, and then hit the open mics. When he discovered that telling jokes to drunken crowds late at night was way more fun than any of the jobs he'd held, he never looked back.

Look up Neil on YouTube or at NeilMcgarry.com.
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