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Neil Berliner
Neil Berliner


NYC, NY

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Views: 643     |     Jokes: 88     |     Videos: 0     |     Comments: 0     |     DailyComedy Fans: 2
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Neil Berliner
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"Pass the Forceps"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 20, 2009
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Parents

1207 Jokes  33 Videos

A two year old Tennessee boy helped his mother deliver her fourth baby on their living room couch.  When a reporter asked him if he'd been scared or nervous, the toddler replied, "Ha!  No way; the last two were C-sections!"


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Wyoming, Arkansas, Whatever...

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Health Care

91 Jokes

A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."


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Neil Berliner
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"Straight Talk"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Sarah Palin

288 Jokes  8 Videos

Oprah just interviewed Sarah Pailin.  Winfrey could have gotten less convoluted answers from my intestines during a game of Twister.


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Neil Berliner
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"No Clowning Around in My Court!"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

New York

1178 Jokes  34 Videos

A New York judge ordered a clown to change out of his colorful costume during his trial.  Judges hate when people dress weird in court; goofy white curly wigs, big black robes-stuff like that. 


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Neil Berliner
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Maybe He'll Live in a Cage

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 18, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Nicolas Cage

11 Jokes  1 Videos

Nicholas Cage’s former financial manager is fuming. He claims that Cage, not him,  caused his own financial disaster. “He bought 15 mansions, 2 castles in Europe, 4 yachts, and several Rolls Royces…and I’m sure that that TGIFriday’s “2 for 1" entree coupon I gave him is still in his wallet!


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"What's Your Name, Little Girl?..."

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 14, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Amy Winehouse

72 Jokes

 To more accurately reflect her drug use, Amy is changing her name from Winehouse to Crackhouse.

 


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Neil Berliner
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"Sport" Jacket

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 14, 2009
Category: Sports  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

New York Mets

153 Jokes  2 Videos

Bernie Madoff’s stuff is being auctioned off, including his Mets jacket which says “Madoff” on the back.  May not be safe to walk the streets of New York in that thing; after all, it does say Mets on it!

 


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Neil Berliner
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CNN "Gone Wild"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 12, 2009
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Lou Dobbs

5 Jokes

It was insanity at CNN in Atlanta yesterday.  First, that ancient anchorman with the bad caps quit his job.  Next, the sex tape video-breast implant-California wacko Carrie Prejean nearly walked off The Larry King Show. The two of them were introduced  in the hallway: "Lou Dobbs, meet "New Knobs"!


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Neil Berliner
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"Do I Hear 45 Mill?"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 12, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

eBay

51 Jokes  1 Videos

Andy Warhol’s “200 One Dollar Bills” just sold at auction for $43.7 million. Look for my new work, entitled “43.7 Million Dollars”, on eBay, with a starting bid of 200 bucks or "best offer".


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Neil Berliner
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Finding the Cure...At Any Cost

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Nov 10, 2009
Category: Weird  

Researchers have found that pigs are brilliant at finding food stashes, and will even follow other pigs that seem to know where the food is.  Reminds me of researchers who are always looking for grant money!

 


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Biography
I'm a comedy writer and M.D. I'm available to write or punch-up material for working comedians, and write humorous speeches for corporate events. I've worked with many stars including Artie Lange, Katie Couric, Mario Batali, Sommore, and many others.

I've written aired lines to these comedy roasts:

Howard Stern Show:

2006-2007: Last 4 roasts including Andy Dick and Artie Lange

1999-2008 Writer for Fruity Nutcake Rapping Granny’

Comedy Central:

2009: Larry the Cable Guy
2007: [more]
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