Is anyone else woirred that the Chipmunks look like gang members in the posters for the movie? When I was a kid, Alvin just wanted a hoola-hoop, now it looks like he's got an oozie under his coat. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 24 Jan 2008

I recently heard a young woman interviewed in television, she indicated she wants to work with "domestically abused" women, apparently we now have another thing to worry about: houses attacking us. Historically, the Wicked Witch of the East was the first domestically abused woman, but who knows how many houses have attacked women in the time it took you to read this? Be careful out there, ladies. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 24 Jan 2008

I was in New York recently and discovered Bob Sagat is on Broadway! Shouldn't that raise the terror alert to "high"? [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 24 Jan 2008

Recent polls indicated 98% of Oprah watchers will now vote for Obama; one was quoted: "I can't wait to see the gift under my chair I'll get after voting for Oprah's friend". [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 24 Jan 2008

I voted here in LA last night and added to the issues: how about when we drive that's ALL we do! I left a Whole Foods yesterday to witness a young woman driving a large car while holding a lap dog, texting someone, eating (a surprise in LA), and finishing a college application. I rushed to save a elderly woman who was about to cross her path. All in a day's work here in spacy LA. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 8 Nov 2006

Recently political pundits discussed the fact that in the US more people vote for American Idol or NFL player of the week than in legitimate elections and commented "at the rate we're going when we finally get a woman president it will be Lyndsay Lohan" to which Bush was heard to reply "Oh goodie! I loved 'Freaky Friday' cause it had magic and stuff". [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 8 Nov 2006

The United States, in an effort to punish North Korea and make sure nuclear testing never happens again, has ammended Ashley Simpson's "West End" contract to appear in "Chicago" to include a year long run in North Korea. North Korean officials said an apology was imminent. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Tue, 10 Oct 2006

 In an attempt to explain his actions in late July Mel Gibson recently blamed a lazy rigth eye saying "it's really lazy and has never even visited the Museum of Tolerance in any attempt to quiet it's anti-semetic feelings"; his left eye could not be reached for comment. As for the beard...he simply had no excuse. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 6 Oct 2006

 Sources in Washington recently revealed the slogan "No Child Left Behind" would be changed because it seemed inappropriate after the Foley scandal, the new slogan will be:"No child In The Behind"Also added: a ban on the phrase "let's get on the same page with this" [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 6 Oct 2006

Katie Couric's assumption of the network news throne has proven to be a success; sources revealed recently that during focus groups to determine Couric's popularity a nugget of Captain Crunch cereal was placed in a swivel chair, when groups responded favorably the network knew it was a bright idea. Couric plans to leave 5 minutes each night at the end of the broadcast to inform the public of new gingerbread recipes as well as ways to get stains out of a much-loved but well-worn shirt.  [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 11 Sep 2006

 Recently in People magazine I read Paris Hilton's quote in reference to her new CD: "it's so good when I hear it I, like, cry". I never thought I'd agree on anything with Paris Hilton but I'm sure if I heard the CD I would, like, cry too. In other pop culture news...government officials have finally found a use for Rosie O'Donnell's TV movie "Riding The Bus With My Sister" in which she plays a mildly retarded woman and co-stars with Andie Mcdowell. Apparently the film is being used to torture inmates at Guantamano Bay and is proving extremely useful. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 11 Sep 2006

  Unable to get an actual photo of Mel Gibson today, photographers settled for a snapshot of a typical breakfast treat for the actor/producer. The food appears to be NON Kosher. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Entertainment
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 9 Aug 2006

A statue of Kung Fu hero Bruce Lee was recently unveiled in Hong Kong, his family plans to produce a bio pic. Sadly, the "statue" was later discovered to be just one of those guys from the subway station who stands really still.  [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 24 Jul 2006

  Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice met with Prime Minister Fuad Saniora of Lebanon in Beirut, at which point he paid her 500 dollars to settle a bet concerning the British Open(Tiger Woods won). [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Mon, 24 Jul 2006

I was recently asked why I have never auditioned for "Last Comic Standing", here are my thoughts: several weeks in a house with 9 other comics and NO CYANIDE PILL? No thanks. Having read "Lord of the Flies" in high school I have no interest in being Piggy Piggy on national television. [more]

Author: shelagh ratner
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 20 Jul 2006