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shelagh ratner
shelagh ratner




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shelagh ratner
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chipmunks

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2008
Category: Entertainment  

Is anyone else woirred that the Chipmunks look like gang members in the posters for the movie? When I was a kid, Alvin just wanted a hoola-hoop, now it looks like he's got an oozie under his coat.

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People are listening

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2008
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Television

913 Jokes  70 Videos

I recently heard a young woman interviewed in television, she indicated she wants to work with "domestically abused" women, apparently we now have another thing to worry about: houses attacking us. Historically, the Wicked Witch of the East was the first domestically abused woman, but who knows how many houses have attacked women in the time it took you to read this? Be careful out there, ladies.

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Bob Sagat? Really?

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2008
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

New York City

331 Jokes  42 Videos

I was in New York recently and discovered Bob Sagat is on Broadway! Shouldn't that raise the terror alert to "high"?

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Oprah loves Obama

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Jan 24, 2008
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

881 Jokes  28 Videos

Recent polls indicated 98% of Oprah watchers will now vote for Obama; one was quoted: "I can't wait to see the gift under my chair I'll get after voting for Oprah's friend".

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Write In Ballot

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Nov 8, 2006
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Election

525 Jokes  20 Videos

I voted here in LA last night and added to the issues: how about when we drive that's ALL we do! I left a Whole Foods yesterday to witness a young woman driving a large car while holding a lap dog, texting someone, eating (a surprise in LA), and finishing a college application. I rushed to save a elderly woman who was about to cross her path. All in a day's work here in spacy LA.


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Bush's Comments Overheard

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Nov 8, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

George Bush

652 Jokes  17 Videos

Recently political pundits discussed the fact that in the US more people vote for American Idol or NFL player of the week than in legitimate elections and commented "at the rate we're going when we finally get a woman president it will be Lyndsay Lohan" to which Bush was heard to reply "Oh goodie! I loved 'Freaky Friday' cause it had magic and stuff".


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US Response to North Korea

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Oct 10, 2006
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

North Korea

129 Jokes  1 Videos

The United States, in an effort to punish North Korea and make sure nuclear testing never happens again, has ammended Ashley Simpson's "West End" contract to appear in "Chicago" to include a year long run in North Korea. North Korean officials said an apology was imminent.


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Mel Gibson caption

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Oct 6, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Mel Gibson

134 Jokes  4 Videos

 In an attempt to explain his actions in late July Mel Gibson recently blamed a lazy rigth eye saying "it's really lazy and has never even visited the Museum of Tolerance in any attempt to quiet it's anti-semetic feelings"; his left eye could not be reached for comment. As for the beard...he simply had no excuse.


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New Rules in DC

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Oct 6, 2006
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Washington

372 Jokes  7 Videos

 Sources in Washington recently revealed the slogan "No Child Left Behind" would be changed because it seemed inappropriate after the Foley scandal, the new slogan will be:


"No child In The Behind"



Also added: a ban on the phrase "let's get on the same page with this"


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re: Katie's a hit!

By: shelagh ratner (C)
Submitted: Sep 11, 2006
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Katie Couric

23 Jokes

Katie Couric's assumption of the network news throne has proven to be a success; sources revealed recently that during focus groups to determine Couric's popularity a nugget of Captain Crunch cereal was placed in a swivel chair, when groups responded favorably the network knew it was a bright idea. Couric plans to leave 5 minutes each night at the end of the broadcast to inform the public of new gingerbread recipes as well as ways to get stains out of a much-loved but well-worn shirt. 


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Biography
Shelagh Ratner lives in New York and Los Angeles; she has performed all over the US and can be seen and heard in national television and radio commercials. Go to shelaghratner.com for more information.
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