H1N1 is such a menace these days that it's put a dung topping on American Health Care. Yes, the Swine Flu is such a harbinger of doom that human experimentation of the drug seems to be best left alone. If pigs can fly, let's just say a better health care system for U.S. Citizens seems as close as shoving a 1,000 pound sow through the eye of a hypo-needle.  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Political
Keywords: h1ni virus
Added: Tue, 10 Nov 2009

The fossil of a mini-T-Rex was discovered in China recently. It's a pygmy replication of the very large carnivore and is believed to be a downscaled version of the world's most voracious meat eating, killing machine. On a more human level, this little mini-me of T-Rex also has a family tree consisting of Dick Cheyne and some foreign leaders in Latin America, Asia and the Middle East.  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Fri, 18 Sep 2009

This week, President Obama delivered a speech to elementary, middle school and high school students regarding education. The speech had some parents ugly and angry over the President's intrusion into the youngster's lives. Some parents even kept their children at home the day after Labor Day, when the speech was given.
It's funny, but the shocking number of dissenting parents were school drop outs themselves, and / or never attended college classes.
  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Political
Keywords:
Added: Wed, 9 Sep 2009

An 83-year-old driver chased another man in a vehicle from New York to Connecticut after being rear-ended by the inebriated man. The oldtimer missed a wedding he was going to because he parked near the drunk's driveway until police arrived. And after helping to fill out police reports in two states, there was no time to make it to the wedding. Needless to say, there was no "shotgun wedding" involved.  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 27 Aug 2009

After a 17-2 loss to the Cubs Aug. 14th, the Pittsburgh Pirates managed to hold a séance after the game in honor of the late great writer Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut, who often wrote of time traveling in his novels, was summoned so the

Pittsburgh team could return to the glory days of their baseball greatness, circa 1970s style. [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Sat, 15 Aug 2009

A new toy that is fashioned with Michael Jackson's face and slim body has been banned by the U.S. Food & Drug Administration. Released by a Cocaine Cartel in Latin America, this dispenser shoots Morphine, Heroin and Cocaine out of Jackson's head and into the mouths of babes. On the up side of this issue, however, the Food & Drug Administration told Daily Comedy's team of investigative reporters that such a toy would not lead to harder drugs with children, though, because there are really no harder drugs on the street besides Morphine, Heroin and Cocaine.
  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: News
Keywords:
Added: Sat, 15 Aug 2009

That's easy - hire an ace driver and pay him $10 million per year and build a $76 million car. Oh, yeh, another thing - race until the car blows up. [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Sports
Keywords:
Added: Thu, 6 Aug 2009

Great-Great-Great Gammpa-paa Crazy Horse, of course!!!   [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords: baddass american indian joke - see here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Added: Tue, 3 Mar 2009

Ah Shunks, Fellers, I dunno - Put the old fool in an upcoming FearNet.Com role as a 2-bit character and find out!!!!
  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords: dead animal joke
Added: Mon, 2 Mar 2009

Actually, nobody should hate Fox & Friends all that much. Not with a rabies-inspired rage, anyhow. The first Amendment protects one and all, even Papa Mouse O'Reilly and Little Mouse Hannity. Fox & Friends isn't much further out to the right as most of us liberals are out to the left. Some Gregorian Middle ground may be in order once the world ends, let's hope.
[Some of us actually like Fox & Friends but keep it hush, hush, huh? After all, they pick up all the Monsterquest drivel that's left on the editing floor. Happy Birthday, Uncle Rupie, wherever and whoever you are or aren't]
  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: News
Keywords: pundits and propagandistic news drizzle
Added: Fri, 20 Feb 2009

have to do to get back into the good graces of Mamma and Pappa Moose, Little Baby Mooses and the ghost of Ed Meese?
- Sign up for "Alcoholics Anon-A-Mooses meetings. [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords: animals moose joke etc.
Added: Tue, 17 Feb 2009

- to plug in a lightbulb?
ANSWER - This is an impossible task, since being a Fox News anchor or national headliner mandates one having a law degree, MBA or another type of executive degree. Anyone who knows anything about life knows that these highly educated idiots cannot do simple things like change a lightbulb, wash a dish or even wash their own hands.
                                                                                                      [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: News
Keywords: fox news rupert murdoch news national level gunk
Added: Sat, 14 Feb 2009

A very large world retailer plans to add a new "Shockbrokering" firm to its many-faceted humungously gathered retail extravanza of shopping. Wally Walderm-Martzzz plans to add a "Shockbrokering" firm wherein each client's shaved skull is hooked up to a highly electrical electrode system. Each customer will be "juiced" with a beginning dose of 5,000 watts of electricity and the electric shock therapy will continue until the customer cries out in anguish, "OKAY, I'LL SAY UNCLE!!!!!!!!!!!!" [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords: wallllmartzzzzz
Added: Fri, 13 Feb 2009

A new museum created by the folks who give us the Animal Planet network have named three great, late comics to the Animal Planet Hall of Fame - John Candy, John Belushi and Hunter S. Thompson. A scientific expert on all Mammalian species says in some funny way, these three characters are related to each other but have no direct or indirect relation to any other Mammalians

. [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: Weird
Keywords: late great comics society joke here -
Added: Wed, 11 Feb 2009

Larry King will be giving up his talk show this spring. For the few hundred that tuned in every night, Mr. King proved to be a great cure for insomnia. Unfortunately, however, the host oftentimes put himself to sleep on the set, as well as his guests and his televised audience.  [more]

Author: Sam Vargo
Category: News
Keywords: larry king
Added: Mon, 9 Feb 2009