18 year old Levi Johnston (future son in law to Sarah Palin's daughter) spoke to the media yesterday about his upcoming nuptials:   "We both LOVE each other. We both WANT to marry each other.  And that's what we are going to do."

Other couples overheard saying the EXACT same quote:

Sonny & Cher, Burt & Lonnie, Jen & Brad, Britney & Kevin, Romeo & Juliet, my parents.

Smooth move, Levi! Oh wait, he was TRYING to jinx it...

I don't understand why people go to Ethiopian restaurants for dinner. Can't they just scavenge for bugs to eat outside?

Long Island businessman Christian Tarantino has been arrested and charged with three murders.  His cousin, legendary filmmaker Quentin Tarantino, claims the murders were not even creatively constructed and that Christian has always been "quite the boorish boar" and hopes now he will "leave me alone about starring in Kill Bill 4." Sources outside the FBI claim to have heard Christian screaming "He stole my scripts! He STOLE my scripts! I've been set up, he is probably in my house RIGHT NOW stealing the rest of my scripts!!!! Arghhhhhhhhh, let me out, I've been framed! I've been framed!!!" Quentin was not available for comment.  Reps claim he was too busy consoling Christian's supermodel wife in her Long Island mansion.

Desparate Housewives costar Felicity Huffman declared last week that Eva Longoria "is just fat-- not pregnant."  She also said, " only the U.S.  paper dollar is weak-- not the coin form," and " predicted Hurricane Gustav won't be that bad, people should just stay home."  Modern day Darwinists say those who listen to Felicity Huffman's ideas are not just "overzealous Desparate Housewife fans, but actually modern day examples of the survival of the fittest theory still hard at work. We hope she keeps talking!"