Don't stare at the chimps! That's the new rule posted at the zoo in Antwerp, Belgium. Of course, you can't feed them, either. Zoo officials are particularly concerned about a male chimp named Cheetah. They worry that people staring at Cheetah will prevent him from bonding with the other apes at the park. He was raised by humans, but the zoo keepers say Cheetah is now making contact with others of his kind. ***MARLAR: So, in other words, go ahead and pay the big bucks to get into the zoo – but whatever you do, DON’T LOOK AT THE ANIMALS!

The green movement is claiming that "diaper-free babies" will help save the planet.  That’s right – no diapers on babies at all.  They say disposable diapers create landfill waste, while washing cloth diapers pollutes the water.  So what is their solution?  Their "retro, cutting-edge, environmentally-friendly" idea is to encourage moms to let their babies go diaperless and carry tight-lidded buckets with them. They suggest parents get in tune with the baby's bodily signals, and when it's ready to, well, “let fly,” hold the baby over the bucket, a toilet, bushes, or any convenient receptacle.  ***MARLAR: How about holding the baby over the head of anyone who suggests this?  You think sitting next to a baby on an airplane is bad now…

(WTVG-TV News) Whoever just robbed Henry's Jewelers in Toledo, Ohio is going to be in for a big shock. All those gold rings you stole are worth about 25 cents apiece. Owner Henry Triplett says oh sure -- they looked to be worth thousands of dollars. But the "gold" rings in his display case are actually just brass dummies-- mere samples of the real gold rings he keeps safely locked up and out of view. So the real cost of the robbery will only be the expense of replacing his store's front window and the shattered glass on 13 display cases.  ***MARLAR: It won’t be hard to find the culprits.  Just go immediately to the boyfriends of girls you see with green fingers.

A Japanese jetliner is asking passengers to go to the bathroom before takeoff to help increase efficiency and cut down on pollution. All Nippon Airways has also started using recycled paper cups and switched from glass to paper bottles in an attempt to make every flight just a little bit lighter. They estimate that if 50% of passengers relieve themselves before boarding, the airline will produce 4.2 fewer tons of CO2 per month.  ***MARLAR: It’s bad enough that your dad tells you to go to the bathroom before going on a trip, now you’re going to hear it from your pilot.

There's a new kind of DWI, driving while intoxicated by your cell phone. People talking on their cells are almost completely oblivious to what goes on around them, according to a new study from Western Washington University. Researchers used a clown riding a unicycle past participants to test the awareness of nearly 350 pedestrians. When asked if they saw the clown, 71% of those walking with a friend remembered the clown, as did 61% of those listening to music. But shockingly, only 25% of the cell phone users remembered seeing a clown on a unicycle. "If people experience so much difficulty performing the task of walking when on a cell phone, just think of what this means when put into the context of driving safety," says psychology professor Ira Hyman.  ***MARLAR: I’m not sure this is a fair analysis.  Couldn’t it be that we just see clowns on the road so often that we’re just desensitized to them?

Cemetery workers in Najaf, Iraq, have expressed ironic sorrow over the recent downturn in violence in that city. They admitted they had kind of grown accustomed to the income from the estimated 6,500 caskets a month that they sold. Those numbers have fallen to below 4,000 a month and many in the death industry around Najaf say they have suffered significant loss of business.  ***MARLAR: So now they’re selling discount AK-47’s. 

It's estimated that last year over 300,000 people got sick from eating bad Thanksgiving leftovers. ***MARLAR: Which totally ruined their 4th of July picnics.

Attention all shoppers: taking the stairs protects your heart. That's the message researchers tried at a U.K. shopping mall by putting up colorful signs along the steps of a staircase, and it worked. Over six weeks, use of the stairway next to an escalator more than doubled. Normally, about 4 percent of people at the mall take the stairs but after adding the signs, that went up to nearly 10 percent.  ***MARLAR: Signs can be pretty powerful.  The one I can’t keep from following – “All You Can Eat.”

Newly-released documents show that Winston Churchill used to watch the movie "Bambi" late at night to inspire him during World War II.  ***MARLAR: It's also why he would never wander out into an open field with his mother.

Looks like the stuffed animals and hand puppet industry may be the latest casualty of H1N1. In Minneapolis, Hennepin County libraries say plush toys and hand puppets will no longer be available for checkout or play, partly because of H1N1 flu concerns. Puppets have been available at less than half of the 41 libraries in the suburbs and in Minneapolis and some are allowed to be checked out. And while there's no way to know if anyone has gotten ill through the puppets, the libraries are sensitive to the real threat and public sense that puppets might be germy. So for now the kids will only have toys that can easily wiped down.  ***MARLAR: Miss Piggy is insistent it has nothing to do with her.