DailyComedy Links:    Home    Jokes    Videos    Late Net    Hot Topics    Comedy Store    Forum        Sign In | Sign Up
LateNet Alert! Attention KARATE KID fans! Check out 'LateNet with Ray Ellin' - the Karate Kid himself, Ralph Macchio!... Click HERE

DARREN MARLAR
DARREN MARLAR
"No Cursing... Just Comedy."

Rockford/Chicago, IL

You are here
Views: 852     |     Jokes: 358     |     Videos: 2     |     Comments: 5     |     DailyComedy Fans: 3
Newest Video

 Comments (0) | Rate It: 
Latest Jokes  
  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ...36  Next Page

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Valentine Pet or Partner?

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 8, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Valentine's Day

38 Jokes  2 Videos

So who would you rather spend Valentine’s Day with? Your partner or your pet?  A joint global poll by Reuters/Ipsos reported Monday that one in five adults say they’d opt for the company of a furry friend on February 14. ***MARLAR: I don’t know if I’d go quite that far, but I do have to say that I truly do have feelings for my Sea Monkeys. 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Dentist Works On Eagle

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 8, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Alaska

365 Jokes  3 Videos

An Alaska dentist has given a bald eagle a unique beak - using a temporary crown, sticky poster putty and yellow highlighter. The bird was found in December with severe damage to its beak, apparently from fishing line that wrapped around it and started cutting into it.  Cindy Palmatier at the Bird Treatment and Learning Center says staff there decided to turn to dentist Kirk Johnson, who thought of patching up the beak with the same material used to make temporary crowns for people.  The "crown" is being held on with poster putty, and Johnson colored it in using highlighter to give it a yellow tint. The bird center says the eagle is doing just fine but won't be able to return to the wild.  ***MARLAR: Because even the animal kingdom sees ugly nose jobs. 

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Two-Inch Gun

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 8, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

New York City

358 Jokes  42 Videos

A New York City fourth-grader was sent to the principal's office and nearly suspended for bringing a 2-inch toy gun to school.  Nine-year-old Patrick Timoney and a friend were playing with Legos in the cafeteria at Public School 52 in Staten Island on Tuesday when Patrick produced the tiny plastic machine gun and put it in the hands of a plastic police officer.  After Patrick's mother got a call from the school, his parents met with the principal and persuaded her not to discipline him if he agreed to leave the toy gun at home.  The boy's father, also named Patrick Timoney, says principal Evelyn Mastroianni "went overboard."  ***MARLAR: The toy police officer has been suspended for not confiscating the gun from the fourth-grader. 

 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Mannequin 3

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 8, 2010
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

New York

1582 Jokes  35 Videos

The tip-off was the sunglasses.  A New Yorker faces a $135 traffic fine for using a mannequin as her "plus one" in the high-occupancy vehicle lane of the Long Island Expressway.  An alert sheriff's deputy on Long Island became suspicious this week when he saw the "passenger" wearing sunglasses and using the visor. The problem: The sky was overcast.  When he stopped the vehicle, he found the mannequin, fully dressed with a long dark wig, blazer, shirt and scarf.  ***MARLAR: The driver said it was an honest mistake as he thought his plastic mannequin was actually Cher.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Police Officer In The Dog House

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Animal

1183 Jokes  36 Videos

A Tennessee sheriff's deputy arrested on a drunken driving charge wound up in a dog house before he was taken to the big house. The Kingsport Times-News reported the details of a Tennessee Highway Patrol arrest report, which said 47-year-old Samuel Monroe Bledsoe was kicking the windows of a trooper's cruiser on his way to a hospital for a blood test.  The report said Bledsoe was then locked inside the cruiser's K-9 cage for his safety. Bledsoe was free Wednesday on $1,500 bond. ***MARLAR: Which is $10,500 in dog money.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
The Pumps Are Prepay Only!

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Alabama

59 Jokes  1 Videos

A man was charged with attempted murder after authorities said he drove his truck through the window of a service station. Jefferson County Chief Deputy Randy Christian said a 49-year-old man pulled into a BP station on Alabama 75 in Pinson Sunday morning and got into a dispute with the clerk because the pump was turned off. Christian said the station has a pay-first policy.  Christian said the suspect went back to his Ford Explorer and drove through the plate glass window and into the counter.  ***MARLAR: After making bail he tried to drive himself home... but ran out of gas.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Polygamous Woman

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Polygamy

16 Jokes

There are matchmakers and then there are match breakers, such as the Huron County judge who sent a woman to jail for polygamy and gave her six months to divorce one of her husbands. Lorri L. Freesland of Kinde pleaded guilty to the charge in December.  Circuit Judge M. Richard Knoblock on Monday sentenced the 43-year-old Freesland to 15 days in jail and one year of probation. He also told her she had six months to resolve her marital status.  ***MARLAR: At which point she’ll likely still get half one husband’s stuff and still have access to all of the other husband’s stuff.  She breaks the law and still gets all-and-a-half from her husbands!


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Cat Piercings

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Animal

1183 Jokes  36 Videos

A Pennsylvania woman is facing trial on animal cruelty charges for marketing "gothic kittens" with ear and neck piercings over the Internet.  Prosecutors are saying that thirty-five-year-old dog groomer Holly Crawford inflicted pain on the cats to make money, but she says she was not trying to hurt the kittens. Crawford said she used sterilized needles and made sure the kittens were healing properly.  ***MARLAR: So let me see if I understand this.  Giving your cat adorable little earrings is cruel... but cutting off your cat's testicals isn’t?


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
Teacher Encourages Fighting

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

School

1016 Jokes  31 Videos

A teacher at a New York City public school has been charged with turning his fourth-grade classroom into a fighting ring.  Joseph Gullotta told two of his students, ages 9 and 10, to settle an argument with a classroom fight.  One of the students suffered a cut lip, and the other sustained a bruised and swollen head during the Jan. 28 incident at P.S. 65 in the Ozone Park neighborhood. ***MARLAR: Actually, it’s the person reported this that should be in trouble.  After all, we all know the first rule of Fight Club.


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:

DARREN MARLAR
Visit My Profile
(Don't) Let it Snow (Don't) Let it Snow (Don't) Let it Snow

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Feb 2, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

North Carolina

116 Jokes  3 Videos

A North Carolina town's plan to truck in 30 tons of snow for a man-made winter wonderland has been canceled because it looks like Mother Nature will come through with the real stuff. Cary decided to call off its weekend "Winter Wonderland" event Friday because forecasters say up to 7 inches of snow could fall in town by Saturday night.  The plan was to cover a hill in a Cary park with about 10 inches of snow. The town sold 600 tickets at $10 each for Saturday and Sunday.  But town officials say it didn't seem fair to keep the money if everybody in the area gets snow for free.  If the snow does fall, Cary plans to refund the tickets and cancel the event. But if forecasters are wrong, the town will announce a new date for the event next week. ***MARLAR: That’s new... praying for no snow so you can make money from snow. 


Share this joke on Facebook!Facebook  Share this joke on MySpace!MySpace  Share this joke on Twitter!Twitter  Share this joke via Email!Email  Stumble It!  del.icio.us  Digg This!  Embed code!  |  Comments (0)  |  Rate it:
  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ...36  Next Page
Sponsored By
Upcoming Gigs
No events in schedule.
Biography
Darren Marlar is an entertainer through and through, doing stand-up comedy, hosting a syndicated radio show, writing comedy for radio stations around the country, creating regular podcasts for his fans, writing a monthly humor column and newsletter, and he’s just been asked to co-star in a new national TV show! In all areas his objective is the same – to make you laugh.

Through his stand-up comedy Darren covers a variety of subjects like growing up as a redhead, marriage, parents, in-laws, [more]

Adam Allred says:

Hey Darren, thanks for the video comment. My lowest crowd attendance record is 2. It did not go near as well as the video though. They were NOT having it! Fun stuff though. Maybe we'll work together one day, best wishes!

SillyWilly says:

YOU HAVE SOME VERY FUNNY STUFF.
THANKS FOR SHARING,
RON,
SILLYWILLY

Kevin (Guest) says:

love your jokes!
keep it up

matt rife says:

hey do u have a facebook?

Ray Ellin says:

hi darren... funny stuff!
ray
Pictures
Publicity Photo 06 Publicity Photo 05 Publicity Photo 04
Publicity Photo 03 Publicity Photo 02 Publicity Photo 01
DailyComedy Fans
DailyComedy Favorites