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Jill Twiss
Jill Twiss




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Jill Twiss
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Spare Some Change?

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Oct 29, 2008
Category: Political  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Barack Obama

697 Jokes  19 Videos

An Ohio judge recently ruled that election officials must accept provisional ballots from homeless voters, a move widely regarded to benefit Barack Obama since low income populations have a tendency to vote Democrat.

I actually think the homeless were some of the first Obama supporters.  Since the very beginning, they've been out on the street demanding change.


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Jill Twiss
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NFL Players Donating Their Brains

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Sep 24, 2008
Category: Sports  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Football

830 Jokes  6 Videos

According to the New York Times, six NFL players have agreed to donate their brains to Boston University's School of Medicine.

It's like my mother always said when deciding which clothes to give to the Salvation Army, "If you haven't used it for at least a year, go ahead and donate it."


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Jill Twiss
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"American empire" Nearing Its End

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Sep 23, 2008
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

George Bush

632 Jokes  17 Videos

Iran’s President, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, declared today before the U.N. General Assembly that, “the American empire” is nearing its end.

Shortly afterward, President Bush retorted: " Of course this isn’t the end of the American empire.  How else would we keep track of whether the pitch was a strike or a ball?”


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Jill Twiss
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4 Year Old Breaks Cup-Stacking Record

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Apr 12, 2008
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

Scandal erupts amidst cries of "juicing."

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Jill Twiss
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Boy Suspended for Mowhawk

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Mar 2, 2008
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

School

806 Jokes  24 Videos

An Ohio kindergartener was suspended from school this week for having a Mowhawk haircut, which his mother claimed was the boy’s way of expressing his individuality.

Administrative officials responded by saying, “At our educational facilities, we prefer that students express their individuality through school-shootings.”

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Jill Twiss
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Yet Another School Shooting

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Feb 18, 2008
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

School

806 Jokes  24 Videos

There was another school shooting this week, this time at Northern Illinois University.

The thing that bothers me about copycat killers is that they're so UNORIGINAL.

Sellouts.

They're like cover bands for murder.

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China Ordains Catholic Bishops

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Dec 5, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

China

268 Jokes  3 Videos

After years of conflict with the Catholic Church, China ordained two Vatican-approved bishops this week.

Catholicism is a little different in China, in that the altar boys are less afraid of the molestation than the asbestos-laden toys they’ll be given to keep them quiet afterward.

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No Nukes in Iran

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Dec 5, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Iran

166 Jokes

An intelligence study released this week reports that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003, contradicting earlier reports that the country was working quickly toward a nuclear bomb.

When asked how he could defend his previous statements threatening military action against Iran, President Bush replied, “Look, here in America, we ONLY attack countries that don’t have weapons.”

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Jill Twiss
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Bill O'Reilly

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Nov 30, 2007
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Bill O'Reilly

10 Jokes  1 Videos

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has announced that he will debate 80s sitcom puppet, Alf, on his show tonight.

Sources say that immediately after the show was taped, O'Reilly had Alf deported: "Unfortunately, it seems that Alf was unable to document his status as a legal alien."

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Jill Twiss
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Sudan Teacher Imprisoned

By: Jill Twiss (C)
Submitted: Nov 30, 2007
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Sudan

20 Jokes

Gillian Gibbons, a British teacher in Sudan, has been sentenced to fifteen days in prison for allowing her class to name its teddy bear "Muhammad."

To appease the radical Muslims, Gibbons has agreed to allow the class to name their next bear, "Damn Jews!"

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