A flute carved more than 35,000 years ago has been discovered in Germany. Scientists believe it is the world's oldest musical instrument. The vulture-bone flute was found in the Hohle Fels cave of southern Germany, and its authenticity was confirmed after Keith Richards remembered playing the flute during a Stones concert 20,000 years ago. 

David Letterman apologized for making a joke about one of Governor Sarah Palin's daughters after she publicly criticized him.  Now if we can only get her to make him apologize for some of his other jokes.

* This joke submitted by someone who will never get a chance to write jokes for the Letterman Show.

An international plan to construct a nuclear fusion reactor in France is being threatened by rising costs, technical challenges, and French workers refusal to understand anything that you're saying.

In the latest New Yorker magazine, CIA director Leon Panetta fired back against criticism that former VP Dick Cheney has been leveling against the Obama administration.  A spokesman for Mr. Cheney said that he felt bad about his remarks, and to show there were no hard feelings, has invited Mr. Panetta to go hunting with him.

The courts allowed the bankruptcy proceedings for Chrysler to go forward this week.  The bankruptcy was approved after the judge told Chrysler to sit in a room for a few minutes while the judge went to talk to his manager.

New research shows that sea levels could rise faster along the east coast of the United States than in any other densely populated part of the world.  Concerned residents along the New Jersey shore immediately asked the scientists for more details, such as "What exit"?

I don’t like feeling good about myself, because whenever I feel good about myself, something bad will happen, and visa versa, so I’m always trying to feel bad, because it gives me something to look forward to.

 Once a week my wife and I have enabler night, where we let each other be really neurotic.  I’ll let her go through my drawers and re-fold my clothes, and she let’s me vacuum all the places in the apartment where I’ve imagined someone may have spilled something.

I studied Latin in college, and people were always asking me, what are you going to do with Latin, it’s a dead language.  Actually, Latin is very useful, because it forms the basis for many English words.  For instance, the Latin word for Cubs, when combined with the Latin word for Chicago, forms the basis for the English word “loser”.

The city added diagonal lines to the crosswalks in our neighborhood because it's supposed to help stop cars from hitting pedestrians in crosswalks.  My car has been hit so often in my neighborhood that I applied the same principal to my car by painting it over with white diagonal lines.  So far, it's worked.  No one wants to be near my car.