Today Headline.....

FAA glitch causes widespread US air travel delays!

Tomorrow Headline....

Health Care Administration glitch causes widespread Us deaths! 

The economy is so bad that Eggos are now facing rationing! 

The smoking rate has fallen over the past year.  The poll did not include The White House. 

 A proposal to levy a 5 percent surcharge on cosmetic procedures could help pay for the health overhaul.  Just think...Michael Jackson alone could have funded health care!

 Costco nixes Coke products over pricing dispute.  Well, there is one less fatting item overweight patrons will not be tempted to by a years supply of.

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray

President Obama keeps bowing to foreign leaders.  He is really into mooning these days……fortunately for us, it’s not Hillary!   

 The NFL fined Titans owner Bud Adams $250,000 on Monday for shooting both fingers repeatedly at Buffalo fans while celebrating Tennessee’s 41-17 win over the Bills.  That will teach him not to overdose on Viagra!  

The curse of Friday the 13th struck Bruce Springsteen in a most unusual way at a concert: it made the 60-year-old rock legend forget where he was.  He said "Hello Ohio"! The Michigan concert goers felt cursed too. 

 A Volkswagen van stolen 35 years ago in Washington state has been found in a shipping container at the Los Angeles/Long Beach seaport.   The owner, who was last seen at Woodstock, is still missing!