Gays can be so catty.  I have this gay friend who likes to pick out my flaws and he said, "how come your left eye is always red"  ?

I looked at him and said, "because, that's my cum eye"  . 

I had the best day today, I went cruising around Los Angeles with the top down, wind in my hair, and without a care in the world.  I turned on the radio and they said they were several accidents caused by road rage, and then I realized I was one causing road rage.

I work at a Mexican restaurant and tommorrow is Cinco De Mayo.  I told my co-worker that we're going to be really busy and he said they're going to be even busier in Mexico.  I said, "why is that, because Cinco De Mayo is a National Holiday in Mexico" ,  and he said, "no, because of the Swine Flu"  . 

I hate metrosexuals because they're always trying to rip off all our shit and take all the credit.  I saw this one metrosexual wearing this really cute scarf and said, "do you know what go really cute with that scarf, a dick in your ass"  .

I hate metrosexuals, those fake faggots.

I miss being called a faggot when it meant something.

I'm so broke yesterday somebody broke into my used car and didn't steal shit, they just left a note on my steering wheel that said, "My Bad"  . 

They were even nice enough to lock my car doors.

I'm not really into being tied up or anything, not because I'm claustophobic but because I'm too big to fit into those small places.

I want to be a gay father but haven't found the right woman or women to have a kid with.  This Lesbian couple said they're looking for a donor to squirt and go.  That sounds like such a fast food restaurant, like I'd pull up to a drive through and say, "yeah hey, can I get some jizz, biggie size please"  .

One of my straight guy friends said he didn't want to have sex with me because he said he's not gay.

I said, "I don't care if you're gay or straight, at the end of the day it's all going to the same place"  .

Whose there?

Corny!

Corny who?

Me so Corny !!! 

It's hard being American Indian and gay.

Everytime I dance to house music, it rains.