Retirement: Favre Favre Away

GOOD TIMES

I love writing sequels to Snakes on a Plane. Next up- Monkeys on a Hang Glider

Slave owners used to mate the strongest slaves in order to create a stronger generation of slave

LeBron James: The result of slave breeding

Dailycomedy.com Staff Pick Employee: "Let's start choosing the worst jokes just to make these would-be loser comedians feel good about themselves."

Me after discovering that I received my first staff pick today: "Holy shit...I'm the man"

 Someone once told me that High School would be the best time in my life...So far I'm enjoying the high part...not so much the school

 This is how statutory started

 It has been highly debated what former President George W. Bush will do now that his presidency is over. Some have said he will return to the House of Representatives, others have said he's looking to open a family business. I for one think this is a great opportunity for Bush to pursue a more realistic option and finally audition for "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader"

 President Barack Obama ordered a stop to torture techniques used upon possible terrorist suspects. In related news former American Idol contestant Clay Aiken's album sales have plummeted to record lows. 

 Guy walks into a bar holding a small cage with a baby giraffe inside. He places the cage on top of the bar as he takes his seat. The guy then goes on to share drinks with the giraffe for 2 hours straight. Finally after intoxicating both himself and the baby giraffe the guy  gets up and starts to walk out with out the giraffe. The bartender yells at him, "Ey! You can't leave that 'lyin there!" The man slowly looks at the bartender, then at the giraffe, then back at the bartender. Finally he says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."