Vets and scientists have been left baffled as three bespectacled bears that live at a zoo in Leipzig, Germany have suddenly and inexplicably gone bald.

Upon hearing the troubling news, Andre Agassi immediately donated all his wigs to the chrome-domed creatures. 

A campus religious leader is unhappy about a study at Duke University that invites female students to attend sex-toy parties.

The Rev. Joe Vetter, director of the Duke Catholic Center, condemns the study, saying that it excludes men and, thus, fails to promote relationships… between priests and young boys! 

In an interview with “Good Morning America” on Thursday, singer Rihanna discussed domestic violence and her relationship with Chris Brown, saying: “Forget about love… Love is so blind.”

Yeah it is! Especially when your eyes are black and blue and swollen shut! 

During an appearance on “Larry King Live”, singer/awful actress Mariah Carey revealed that she was “emotionally abused” in a past relationship.

That’s funny… I said the same thing after seeing “Glitter”. 

The economy has gotten so bad that I had to say goodbye to my stockbroker.

I now have my pawnbroker on speed-dial. 

In the latest issue of British GQ, actress Nicole Kidman reveals that she’s done some “strange sexual stuff”… like marrying Tom Cruise. 

A veteran Milwaukee, Wisconsin firefighter was charged with drugging his wife’s tea with his anti-depressant medication because he said he wanted to calm her after an argument.

The 43-year-old man was in the Milwaukee County jail Tuesday on $10,000 bail and was unavailable for comment… but his wife still hasn’t shut up. 

On the “Tyra” show this Wednesday, host Tyra Banks revealed that she recently lost 30 pounds.

Apparently, Kirstie Alley found it. 

Republicans boycotted a Senate committee hearing today on a major bill to reduce emissions of greenhouse gases that contribute to climate change.

I guess you could say they gave it the cold shoulder. 

Academy Award winning actor Nicolas Cage says he is broke.

I guess this means he won’t be reimbursing me for the $12.50 I wasted on “Knowing.”