...after reportedly stealing $124,000 worth of Bulgari jewelry, winona ryder has blown away the competition to win the 2008 "Shoplifting With The Stars " crown.

...after 14 years, countless retakes, overdubs, and edits, axhole rose has finally released the album from the group now known as Guns & Neuroses. 

...a california man drove 3,000 miles to shoot his wife...the NRA has awarded the man the 2008 Most Determined Killer Award. 

...paris hilton and benji madden have split up....this now qualifies him to enter the nitwitness protection program. 

...the buzz around hollywood these days is: is hugh jackman gay?.....absolutely no truth to this rumor, according to his wife, his publicist, and his boyfriend. 

...actress and part time shoplifter winona ryder fell ill on Los Angeles to London flight with mystery illness...after seeing a specialist, she has been diagnosed with "havent made a movie in a long time-itis". 

...hollywood hopes to continue cashing  in on the video game to movie craze with production to begin shortly on "Solitaire: the Movie."

...huntington west virginia has been named the unhealthiest city in america...local residents shrugged off this notion with a wheeze and a cough. 

...the new york mets, in need of a closer for the '09 season, have narrowed their list down to three....they hope to sign francisco rodriguez, brian fuentes, or kyra sedgewick. 

...actress lisa rinna has admitted to being addicted to plastic surgery...she has had so many procedures that she sets off the Lego detector at airports.