Pitcher Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants,has won the Cy Young Award for the second straight year.He led the National League in strikeouts and marijuana possession.

Oprah Winfrey will be ending her show in 2011.Which means she's moving into the 10 PM slot. 

I collect Cheetos and potato chips that resemble real objects.It's taken quite a bite out of my wallet. 

There is a severe shortage of Eggo Waffles,due to excesive rain and listeria bacteria.Although,I suppose you could close your eyes and munch on some Legos.

President Obama is currently in South Korea.Staffers are having a difficult time translating Seoul food to soul food on the menu. 

People are so obese,the earth has been thrown out of it's orbit.It is now revolving around a huge Krispy Kreme donut.

Levi Johnston says that after his Playgirl spread,he will become the spokesperson for the re-launched Members Only.

On the heels of Sarah Palin's new book,Going Rogue,John McCain has penned one also.It is called Going Rogaine.

I'll never play poker at the Playboy Mansion again.I lost a ton of dough, because I had an uncontrollable urge to keep going all-in. 

I have looked into the future.The bad news is: Sarah Palin is elected President on November 6,2012.The good news is:On December 21,2012,the world comes to an end.