A man at a Florida Bank of America was denied the opportunity to cash his wife's check because he was asked for thumbprint, when he had only prosthetic arms.

Bank of America apologized, and said next time they will ask armless customers to use their penis instead.

 The Iraqi journalist who threw a shoe at former President George W. Bush will be released early for good behavior.

However, this has lead to serious questions about the timing of the release. Such as, why didn't this happen sooner?

 Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd has vowed to carry on Ted Kennedy's life work.

To prepare, he has already started drinking and practicing an Irish accent.

Secretary of State Hilary Clinton snapped during a conference in Africa when a translator mistakenly asked her what Bill Clinton thought of an issue, insisiting she runs the state department, not him. Further incensed, Hilary declared: "I'm the one who wears the pants in this relationship!"

 The beers at this summit were Molson and Corona.

 A Florida man allegedly found a dead rodent inside his diet Pepsi can.

Thankfully, since it was diet, the rodent had less calories.

 A Michigan man was arrested after attacking his friend during a game of monopoly.

He was able to post bail immediately with the money he won from community chest.

According to the website NewsoftheWeird, a British construction worker who lost one eye and was blinded in his order was able to regain his sight his year as part of a surgery where a tooth was implanted in his eye.

As a result, the man now also does not brush his eyes.

 In Cincinatti, Ohio- a 38 year-old man named Neil Armstrong is constantly bombarded with letters and requests for autographs since he lives near the 78-year old famous astronaut with the same name.

The younger Armstrong stresses that the two are entirely different, and that the only similarity is that they both never really landed on the moon.

 The homeowner, however, said he was thankful that "My insurance has a first name. It's S-t-a-t-e. My insurance has a last name. It's F-a-r-m."