A group of Jewish investors is interested in buying Burger King. First thing they'll do if they buy it? Change the slogan to:

"Have It Yahweh".

Right-wing hack Ann Coulter is calling President Obama an atheist. Right. That's about as true as calling Ann Coulter...

a woman. 

Sarah Palin made news over the weekend. She said she favors early withdrawal. No, she wasn't talking about Afghanistan.

She was talking about her daughter Bristol. 

That Glenn Beck rally on the National Mall was billed as "all-inclusive". Really? Judging by who attended, it should have been the "Ivory Soap" rally because it was...

99 and 44/100ths percent pure white.

For Halloween this year, Dick Cheney is going dressed as that evil, blood-sucking, cold, cruel and heartless creature Dracula. Dracula, meantime, is going dressed as...

Dick Cheney.

A man in Florida stole a ferret from a pet store, stuffed it down his pants and fled. He was caught on security video and soon arrested. Police say that with that evidence...

he can't weasel out of the charges.

Because it's broke, the City of Philadelphia is charging bloggers $300 each for a business license. What they should do is charge each Philadelphian who is obnoxious a dollar...

they'd raise millions!

U.P.S. and the producers of those diarrhea-causing tainted eggs may start advertising together. Their advertising slogan?

"What Can Brown Do For You...10 or 15 Times A Day?" 

McDonald's is still selling their Egg McMuffin, regardless of the salmonella-tainted eggs nationwide. Now, however, each Egg McMuffin will also include a special sauce...

made with Pepto-Bismol and Kaopectate.

Pope Benedict has banned the Catholic Church faithful from blowing vuvuzelas at his public appearances in England next month. The Holy Father continued:

"All blowing will be handled by our priests and our altar boys."