After Ged Galvin's recent car crash, a medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves. He now presses a remote control to open his bowels and go to the toilet.

It works great except when his neighbor activates the garage door opener, he shits his pants.

Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue” is set to hit the bookstores next Tuesday which means by next Wednesday I will be able to see it filling the dumpsters from my house.

At the cost of millions of dollars, NASA has found water on the moon. At the cost of 86 cents, I found water at Ralphs.

Claude Levi-Strauss, eminent anthropologist, has died at the age 100. I wondered how he would be remembered until I went to the mall and seen all the teenagers with their jeans at half-staff.

A man caught having sex with a horse in a South Carolina stable has been sentenced to three years in prison. I don't know who to feel sorry for, the horse or his new cell mate?

Officials say that NASA's rocket strike on moon worked, that is of course if their mission was to blow 79 million dollars for no reason. Next up, a billion dollar probe to Uranus.

Lucy Vodden, who provided the inspiration for the Beatle's classic song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" has died.

Although Jai Antwang, the japanese porn star is still living large after being the inspiration for the hit "Yellow Submarine".

Actress Mackenzie Phillips reveals she had a long-term incestuous relationship with her famous father, musician John Phillips.

While she openly admits to that in her new book, she vehemently denies any responsibilty for his choice of hats.

A legally insane killer was on the loose in the state of Washington today, two days after he escaped during a field trip to a county fair.

At what point did the state say "Listen up nutbags, who wants funnel cake".

And just think if he was "illegally" insane, he may have applied for a job there.

The 72 year run of the soap opera "Guiding Light" is coming to a close this Friday.

Writers have disclosed the reason for the shows ending was because everyone has slept with everyone else.